Share a Coke and a Smile

Monday Morning and a quick catch up...

2011-12-05T06:15:00.000-08:00

November came and went so fast and I didn't get one word in on here. Our friend Bob died on the 6th and my closest friend is a widow now. It is just so very sad and my heart hurts for Sue. She is getting through on the surface but I know how fragile she is on the inside. I am just trying to be the kind of friend she needs right now, day by day. God is so faithful in providing her the help she needs on her property and it is a great comfort to her and very humbling too. There is so much more to write about here but my words keep getting stuck.

December 1st was Corky's birthday and the 3rd was Hannah's 4th so we had a party for both of them on Saturday afternoon. We have been trying to get her to try new foods and her excuse has always been "When I am 4 I will do it." She walked in the house and quickly told me she wasn't ready to be 4 yet, maybe a few more days:) I told her that even if she wasn't ready to try new things that she was still 4. Got a big smile out of that:) It was a great afternoon without one family bloop and around here that is big!!

Things in my mouth have been moving along at a fast pace and last week I got 6 of my new permanent crowns in my mouth. More to come this week and I am getting so excited to get all the spaces filled in. Praying that the implant places are healing up as my bone density these days is almost non existent. Corky is getting his impressions done after work today at the dentist so we are just buzzing along. It will all be worth it in the end. Lots of smiles.

I am excited to get my tree this week and get it looking like Christmas around here. The weather has been changing here at the coast and the cold is setting in. Lots of fires to keep us toasty as there is no heat in the house:) I am loving the change and bundling up. We have so much to be thankful for as the Lord is blessing us so abundantly. We don't deserve it but He is so faithful.

Isaac will be here soon so I will close for now and get set up for his school work. I hope everyone has a blessed Monday and week ahead.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Another week has flown by and I need to run faster to keep up.....

2011-10-24T06:11:00.000-07:00

This past week was a blur at times. Went to the dentist on Wednesday and during my 3 1/2 hour appt, had three implants and two bone grafts. I discovered I am not as tough as I once was. I woke up Thursday morning looking like someone used my face for a punching bag. My mouth was on fire too:( I am over the shame of it's condition and am hesitant but happy to say I am getting excited. So far, all work has been done on the upper teeth and nothing visible to the eye yet. All an inside job for the teeth that will bring my smile back to me. It truly is a challenge to the dear dentist who is trying to figure things out for me. But I trust him and that is not an easy thing for me to do, trust anyone. God is teaching me some valuable lessons here in my mouth and heart. I am finally friends with my mouth again this morning:) I go back this Wednesday to get stitches out and see how things have been healing. Corky has his appt. Wednesday too and he is going to be sore when it's done too. I am glad we are doing it together so we can encourage eachother.

The guys worked on the school house again this weekend and the rafters are on the roof and the outside walls are sheeted. It is looking so good, snuggled into their yard. I will definitely post pictures when it is complete. Erin and I can hardly wait for the shingles to be on, all the way around the outside and window boxes under the windows:) It is so exciting to share our knowledge of construction with our grandkids. They both will be schooled in this little room for many years to come. Watching Corky and Josh working hard on this makes my heart so proud and Isaac helping out is the icing on the cake:)

I did not get down to see Sue this week but Bob is in the hospital after experiencing too much pain on Saturday. It turned out to be his pancreas that is thrashed from the cancer that has taken over his body. Bob has always been negative and moody for as long as we have known him, 45 years. But now it is ten times worse because of the fear inside him and it's effect on Sue. Her patience has always been thin with him but now it seems to be non existent. They are both so stubborn and proud and time is running out with the sun rapidly setting on their marriage. I have been praying that God opens doors and helps them to restore their love to some extent before it is too late. Sue can also be a hard cookie to get along with unless you know her heart as I do. This is tough all the way around and has Corky and I talking to eachother constantly about our love for eachother, especially now. We have been blessed with trials through our marriage that have made us stronger and closer. It feels like a dress rehearsal for our lives and the future that is before us and it scares me. I never thought I would live to be 63 and still feel like 35 in my heart. I am just so thankful that we know the Lord and He has us in His hands. Bob and Sue have this assurance too. Just praying for both of their hearts to soften towards eachother.

Hannah will be here today and we are going to work in the yard together. The weather has been cooling off and we have had coastal fog lasting half the day for over a week now. I love this time of year and cooler weather. I can't believe October is almost over and Thanksgiving is a month away. This is usually my hybernation time of the year, but not this year. Too much is going on and I need to stay present in body and spirit for many reasons. I still feel young in my mind and just wish I had back the energy to match. Don't we all? Have a wonderful day if you are reading this. I miss you guys but that's what I get for deserting my blog for so long:(

Love and Hugs, Laurie

A One Room Schoolhouse, A Fog Horn and A Flood Of Memories...

2011-10-18T05:53:00.000-07:00

My grandkids are being home schooled and a little 12'x14' school room is being built in their back yard. Grandpa and Josh are building it and Saturday, all 4 walls were framed up and secured in place. Josh is an accountant now but when he was Isaacs age, he and his brother went to work with Corky over summer break and earned money cleaning up on the jobsites. Over the years they learned how to frame and build things, use the power tools and learn about working for their money. Isaac was so excited to help with keeping the site clean and of course hoarding cut off ends of wood and lots of nails to build the things only his little mind knows. He is an inventor you know. My heart was overflowing with pride to be watching three generations of my guys working together.:)

I was there to play with the kids and give mom the day to clean her house so Hannah and I did manicures and pedicures and had so much fun. Of course she was so happy with hers that she had to change clothes 4 times while I was there because all her clothes "matched" with her fingers and toes. While she was sitting on the patio table with her feet on my knees, her little hands were free to move about. She stroked my hair and checked out my earrings, tickling my face with those little fingers and said "Gramma, I love these earrings you wear, the dolphins are so pretty." I have had them forever, my Sissy, Corky's sister gave them to me for my birthday long ago one March. I am a Pisces and so is she and so is Erin (mom). Hannah loves my jade necklace too. She is so gentle with my jewelry and sees it on me all the time. These are things I will pass on to her when I am gone. A tradition starts as I did not have these special things from my childhood handed down to me. Way too long a story to get into right now. We dressed her dollies and Isaac took a work break to join us and take apart a Kodak Easy Share camera that had broken. The three of us had great conversations at the table while the guys worked on and mom continued cleaning:)

This is not your ordinary school room that is being built. Erin showed me the book she got her inspiration from. It honestly is my dream garden cottage I have always wanted to have in my garden!! It will be shingled all the way around and window boxes with flowers, dutch door, on and on, my perfect garden shed:) Our labor of love we gladly help with for the two most special little people in our lives. This is such a wonderful and rewarding time in our lives together:)

I mentioned the fog horn because it is still dark out this morning and with the window open in my office as I sit here, I hear the fog horn down the hill at the harbor. I love this time of year when we get our seasons with the ocean. You can smell the sea in the air up here and it is magical. I love to watch the fog roll up the street and through the yards, it is moist and wonderful and so full of life. I don't really like driving in it as it makes people crazy on the roads, but I love it.

Sunday we went to Bob and Sues and it was a great day with friends. They have 4 acres about an hour south of us and inland. Sue loves horses and has two of them. She is my horse friend:) She is trying to get more stables built so she can board horses and help meet the mortgage since Bob is dying and no longer bringing in an income. She found some pipe she needed on craigs list so we went in search of the property so she could pay the guy and arrange delivery. Corky stayed with Bob as he cannot be left alone. Another old friend Steve stopped by just in time so Corky had extra company and help. With Google directions we managed to get ourselves lost for over an hour, out in the boonies, street signs faded out from the sun. Memories started flooding in my mind as she apologized for wasting my Sunday afternoon getting lost. Over the past 41 years of our friendship, we have gotten lost too many times to keep count. I can't think of one person I love to get lost with more than her. I told her and the memories started pouring out. I loved the smile on her face that broke the fear on her face of such a sad and unimaginable future unfolding in life right now. We raised our sons together, riding in cars with hardly any brakes, the boys loose in the back seat, no carseats back then and we had to agree that God had his angels surrounding us in those days as always:) HE has always been the glue that binds our friendship through all of the ups and downs we have experienced personally. Our pride has always been the thing that got in the way but not anymore. God has been working on all of us with this and it is a blessing to be obedient to HIS gentle discipline. Such a long time to learn this but HE truly closes the gaps of time that our pride had stolen. And HE does it quick and instant.

Before we left I showed Sue pictures of my grandkids. I am getting better at realizing that she won't be a grandma, so her horses are her babies like my grandkids are to me. I am okay with that but wanted to put precious faces to the precious little people in my life. I think you have to be a grandma to really get it. I get that now. The most important thing right now is that our friendship is back on track and will stay on track. No room for pride anymore. My closest friends husband is dying and I want to be here for her, whatever she needs me to do to help her through. I seem to bring out the tears in her more often these days but she says it's all good, keeping it real as it happens. I want to share her pain and burden, it's the least I can do.

When I count my blessings I lose count so I just keep thanking the Lord for all that HE continues blessing us with because of HIS love for us.

It feels good to get things out here. It has been too long and I feel it is not entertaining to readers like you but if anyone still visits me:), I really miss and appreciate you.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

There Is No Restoration Like God's Restoration....

2011-10-12T07:18:00.000-07:00

As I had said in my last post that got sent into cyberspace, God has been working on my pride and I am so thankful to be obedient to his small and still voice. Corky and I went to visit Bob and Sue on Saturday and it was such a beautiful sunny day spent with the best of friends. I had told Sue that we were scared to see Bob in such a frail state but God would get there before us. He is frail and hasn't been able to eat in over a month and keep anything down. I baked him his favorite cookies of mine and told him he could just smell them if he wanted. There were many hugs and smiles and tears and God's peace and comfort and unconditional love. The day was perfect and I just listened to Sue's heart, her fears, hopes, needs. God had closed the time in between and it was wonderful.

Sue emailed me to let me know Bob has eaten two cookies each day and kept them down.:) He is also able to eat some small portions of food and keep them down too. I am thanking the Lord for this small step. Yes, the cancer will take Bob but starving to death is just plain not right. I just looked up from my desk and have this scripture written on a post it: Proverbs 16:9, In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.

We are going back down this Sunday to watch the Nascar race together and just hang out for the day. I am making a mental list of the things that they need done around their property and what we can do to help get it done. Eric stopped in on them shortly after we had left and offered his help too. They were so excited and surprised to see him. I am proud of him for following his heart that has been buried under so much turmoil since the beginning of this year.

I have so much more I want to write about this but will wait for another post. Isaac and Hannah are doing great and they keep so much joy buzzing in my heart constantly. They are my true treasures and so is Corky.

I am so thankful for God's discipline in my life right now. Obedience is a humbling and necessary step in this walk of life. HIS restoration is so precious.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Another Month Has Flown By............

2011-03-26T06:29:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I am only getting in my second post in March here but I am trying to get better. So far this year has been a blender of ups and downs and many emotions. I choose to focus on the ups and the good things.

My yards are starting to come around again after the major mess up and clean up. I am so glad it is Spring, rain or shine, Spring. Working in the yards has been such good therapy for my soul and it is much needed. The jasmine is exploding all over the yards and the smell is just heavenly everywhere I go. Orchids are blooming and are so beautiful. Freesias blooming and smelling wonderful and all the tropicals are happy. I love hydrangeas and they seem to love the lack of direct sun in my yards. I got brave and really pruned them back as God has been pruning me back and I have to say they needed that just as I have needed it. My fushias are crazy and all grow into trees for lack of sun. The hummingbirds love them and are back in full force buzzing around the yard. My garden is not structured. It dictates what it's going to do and I follow it's lead. Our soil is clay, the kind you build adobe houses with and I have lost hundreds of bulbs to the abyss of clay. So they get planted in containers so I can keep track of them. I need to start taking and posting pictures again but I think I have forgotten how:(

Corky is back on working days and it is so good to have him home and spend time in the evenings again. This next week will be hell on wheels for him as he is getting a $5 million job finished. His boss asked him if he would postpone our vacation for a week to get this done and offered him $10,000 as incentive. Corky would have done it for free but hey, why not get rewarded for it too? Yes, we will pay taxes on it but it is a blessing. We had no plans except to go up to the redwoods for a few days to spend time with dear friends and just hang out. The rest of the time is just relaxing and enjoying the grandkids when they are here. Yesterday they were both here and Grandpa's heart was full to overflowing. He has barely seen them these past five months. My heart just melted watching the three of them yesterday!
We baked cookie cake, their absolute "sugar high" of choice. I measured, the kids mixed the dry ingredients and Corky mixed it. It is the family favorite for generations here. It had ten more minutes of baking when Daddy got here to pick them up and he gladly waited for it to cool before cutting into it and going home:)

I have a few prayer requests and would appreciate your prayers.

1. Sweet Kelli is so close to getting the kidney she so desperately needs and my heart is just so heavy for her and all she has been through. I love this girl whom I have never met and want Gods best for her now.

2. Eric is struggling and could use prayers. It is so hard to watch him fight with himself and not realize that he is his own worst enemy. He probably learned that from me as I am still my own worst enemy at times. I just want him to experience Gods peace in his life.

3. Annabel is in the hospital again and needs His healing touch. This little girl is one tough cookie and she humbles me. She and Cathy need our prayers.

4. Corky needs our prayers to get through this next week without losing his mind to stress. He is such a faithful employee and this company relies on his strength to get things done. He is a wonderful man and husband:)

5. Me, you can pray however you'd like for me to continue to rise above the depression and keep my ear in tune with what God wants me to hear and learn in this season.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone and thank you for visiting me. I love you all.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

~Happy Birthday Blessings Today ~

2011-03-06T17:32:00.000-08:00

It has been a great weekend and birthday today. Corky had told me to get whatever I wanted and cost didn't matter:) Hmmm. Friday I brought home my second adopted cat from the shelter. She grabbed my leg when I walked by and just chatted her heart out to me. She is about 2 years old and is a fluffy black and white Tuxedo girl, with the most precious face ever. And she stole my heart. She was free because she had a seizure when she first came in and broke her leg in the bars of the cage. She is all better now but will be on seizure meds for the rest of her life. She also came with a $400.00 credit towards the future vets costs or meds. She is a lover and Isaac went with me to pick her up. He was so stoked:) After observing her personality since Friday afternoon, her name is Zipper, like the flying bug in the Rescue Rangers with Chip & Dale and the crew. It is amazing the peace she has brought to our home. We are cat people and I am a cat girl through and through. They are my therapy always. Her effect on Eric has been amazing. He is missing his two cats so much too but doesn't get to love on them anymore. Zipper is my free birthday gift and she loves everyone here. A great gift for sure.

Speaking of Eric, he is working on rebuilding the backyard room. Insulation, drywall, new door that he is making into a dutch door (yay) and new roof. It was a mess out there and lots of water damage. All of the junk stored in it for years is now stacked in the yard that is waiting for Spring. I am working around it and know it will be so great when it's done. We can use it for a guest house after he is back on his feet. He is in his element when he is working construction. He has been more at peace these past three or four days and I am so thankful for the prayers that I know are covering this. When he is all done I will paint the inside and outside and get my landscape put back together. I want to paint the outside aqua or turquoise and keep the inside light. We bought all the materials and our labor is free:) Call it room and board and I am happy.

Thursday when Hannah and I were hiding under cover from the bears and snuggling and wrestling, my gold chain with my very special piece of jade broke and the jade fell off somewhere. My heart sunk. Corky bought me this back in 1995 on Mothers Day when I was visiting him in Taiwan where he was working. It was the Mothers Day when the boys birthday falls on Mothers Day Sunday. It has a lot of sentiment to me. Eric searched and Hannah got down on her precious hands and knees to look for it. Eric found it and I could breathe again. Hannah has loved my jade necklace since she was about 4 months old. I never take it off. She is always careful in handling it when she is snuggling. She will get this when she is older:)

Speaking of older, I still don't know what 63 is supposed to feel like now that it is my age. It sure is evident in my body but my heart feels so young when I count my blessings over these years. I thank God every morning when I open my eyes and find myself still here and next to my heart and soul mate. It is a comfort that I have been blessed with that scares me so much sometimes. I don't want to think of losing my best half if it was to be God's will. Out of my hands and in His.

Hannah will be here tomorrow and get to love on the new cat while Isaac is in school. She will tell him all about it when she gets home tomorrow, as he told her about getting to go pick her up with me. They are so funny about the ownership they feel over our house and all who live here:) I wouldn't have it any other way. They also called this morning and sang Happy Birthday to me. Melted my heart. So this day has been a very blessed one for me all the way around and the sun was out like Spring too. I am slowly but surely adjusting to all the things going on right now and I am content with it.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

It Is Now March And Spring Is Right Around The Corner.

2011-03-02T12:34:00.000-08:00

Wow, September was my last time of posting and I have no excuses except life getting in the way.

Things here are very tense and I find myself running around to find the joy that gets me through. The tension started Christmas night as Corky said something to my grandkids mom regarding who's house she was in and a conversation across the room that she had no business voicing an opinion in. She gathered up the kids and my son and left in tears of frustration. I did not see Isaac and Hannah until a week later when Isaac had his tonsils out. I went to his house to see them three or four times. No mention was made about them coming here and everytime I asked, an excuse was given. A poor excuse at that. It wasn't until the middle of February that she announced her new schedule for the kids. Hannah for 4 hours on Mondays. None for Isaac until I mentioned that I would pick him up from school on Fridays and he could spend some time with me until his dad picked him up after work. After over ten years of not crying once, I was in tears and feeling punished for something I did not do. I have settled in on this new schedule for now as there is nothing I can do.

After the new year, my other sons wife told him to leave and she was divorcing him. It hasn't even been a full three year marriage. He had lost his job and was on unemployment, still is and she reminded him of it daily. Construction is still at a standstill here in California as it is so many other places. He was told a year ago that she no longer loved him. This is her second divorce and she never let him deal with the teenager who was arrested for selling drugs, drove their new family car without even having a license and the car burned up, totalled. He stole checks from Eric and forged them for over $500 and was told to not get on the kid for it. The kid is now 18 and on probation and still screwing up. Eric is no angel, has a drug problem himself and dealing with rejection and failure of his marriage. To be honest here, Corky and I felt it was doomed before it ever started and we don't believe in divorce. So now Eric is living back at home here and I am sure feels like a total loser. He brought a lot of this on himself and is in denial that it is over. Lots of anger outbursts and tension in our home that was so peaceful before Christmas. Top all that off with the grandkids mom already having an attitude problem with her husbands twin brother and I feel this is what changed the kids schedule in coming here besides Corky politely putting her in her place. There is too much testosterone floating around in this house right now. And Corky hasn't seen Isaac and Hannah since Christmas. He has been working until 11:00 pm for the past four months and is now back on regular hours, thank God. These are all things that have kept me from posting here because I am ashamed and feel like a bad mom at times. But I need prayer so I am posting in case anyone still checks in. I don't blame you if you don't. My heart feels like it weighs a ton most days and I am able to find nuggets of joy to keep me going. I have to keep reminding myself that my sons problems are his own and I can't fix it. I have to tune out the ranting and raging until it gets personal and disrespectful and then I have to stand up for myself. My heart breaks for him and yet I want to just haul off and bitch slap him when he won't stop ranting. He used to be my baby that I never thought would face these times but here we are in March 2011 and it is happening. We never stop being moms no matter how old our babies get. My twins will be 40 in May. God is teaching me things that I needed to learn and I am focusing on these things. I just miss a peace filled house and Corky and I being alone together. We are doing fine and talking a lot about not enabling our son. Until his veil of denial drops, his life is going to just suck for him.

I am so thankful Spring is coming and none too soon. I come out of hybernation after a long winter but this winter I have not been able to restore myself with hybernation. I am exhausted. I know God is working and I am doing my best to listen when He speaks to my heart. It is hard to walk a fine line when both sides are screaming at me. So there you have it, the reason I have been away from the one place I can be myself and get prayers.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Last Day of September and Moving Along Just Fine:)

2010-09-30T19:56:00.001-07:00

It has been a good month, and the weather is doing it's crazy thing. Really hot this week and last week was really cool. The yards are loving the heat as there hasn't been much to speak of this summer.

Isaac absolutely loves kindergarten and I am so proud of him. Hannah and I pick him up on Mondays after school. I love seeing his face light up when he sees us outside the door:) The first day he yelled out "Gramma" and the whole class turned around and smiled. Yeah, they all know who gramma's are:) He is doing great and has made a good friend named Jack. He is so shy like his dad was at this age. I love this little guy so much.

Corky has been working a swing shift at work so he is gone by 12:00 and home by 11:00 pm. It will probably be this way until after the holidays. Not a lot of time to do much when we sleep until 7:00 am. And he only gets to see Hannah right now on Monday mornings. He really misses them and they miss him a lot too. I am thankful for his job and know it won't be forever but he is so in love with these two kids!
Hannah is the apple of his eye:)

I have been working on myself since my last post and am making progress in little steps. I appreciate the prayers of those who still come here. They mean a lot to me and I can feel them. I have been eating healthier and curbing some bad habits too. I've been working in the yards and keeping things pruned back so they don't get out of hand.

It's hard to believe tomorrow is October 1st. I am glad it will be Friday and Corky will be home for the weekend. I need to go buy Iron Man 2 tomorrow so we can watch it over the weekend.

My heart is really heavy for Connie and John Thompson. Mallorie Rose who was almost 4 died almost two weeks ago and I can't imagine the pain they are going through. She was one of my Trisomy Sweethearts who proved that her quality of life was wonderful and just perfect the way God created her. She is healed but the family is left with an empty spot in their home and hearts. I loved her and I miss her so much. She taught me so much in her full little life.

I hope everyone has a great weekend and that you feel God's blessings all around you. They are everywhere:)

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Pruning My Gardens as God Prunes Me...

2010-09-08T05:52:00.000-07:00

So I have been working in my gardens and pruning things back so they are in some kind of control:) My gardens are more of a free-form jungle as all of my tropical plants are growing by leaps and bounds. I love vines and have them everywhere and in order to keep them healthy and happy, I need to wack them back. God and I have good conversations while I am doing this and it makes the time so sweet and sweaty.:) When I don't tend to these things, the old dead layer remains under the beautiful new growth of jasmine that smells heavenly.

God has been showing me that my life is the same in many ways. He is showing me the old things that still need pruning out in my own life and it sometimes hurts to see the truth. My biggest challenge is taking care of me now. Because of my childhood, it is easy to take care of those I love and neglect myself. And neglect myself I have done. Working on me is a painful process and I have been informed by God that I do not love myself as He wants me to. I need to lose 55 pounds, taking meds for high cholesterol and my blood pressure is higher than it should be. I am ashamed to admit that I am a smoker. It makes me feel like such a hypocrite and I have hung on to this crutch forever. I need to get to the dentist and get some serious work done on my teeth and it won't be cheap. I don't remember how long it's been since I have smiled face to face with someone, except Isaac and Hannah. I miss smiling so much and laughing is my drug of choice:) It has been two years since my last mammogram and this is not smart after being 14 years free of breast cancer. I know God holds me but can you believe He now wants me to help Him? :) If I don't do it for any other reason I need to do it so I can watch my treasures grow up. They love me so much and they need their grandma.

So, that is what I am dealing with at this stage of my life and I need encouragement to stay with this learning curve I am in. I covet any and all prayers and encouragement as it is easier to neglect myself than to nurture the me God wants me to be at 62. Childhood abuse is a real soul crusher that follows a person through their lifetime, in one form or another. So much has healed, but now we are down to me and it just hurts.

Please pray for Kelli as she waits for her transplant. I have much to learn from her example of patience and grace. Thank you for stopping by as my lack of posting has lost me followers. I am just trying to navigate my way through this time.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

August Out--September In--And Jimmy On My Mind...

2010-09-02T16:23:00.000-07:00

Well, August flew by and I didn't get one post on here. No excuses will work:)

Today, the 2nd of September came so quickly, it honestly did. On my calendar is written "Jimmy in heaven for one year". I can't believe the time has gone by so fast and that Jimmy has been gone from here and in heaven with the Lord, Kelly his wife, Jack his father in law and many others we have known for many years. This is hard for me to sit here right now and try to say how much I miss you Jimmy....

We have known each other for all but the first 17 years. We grew up together here at the beach from that time to just one year ago when you left. The best friend to Corky and me always, absolutely always. You were the first to meet the twins when we brought them home in the laundry basket:) You became their Uncle Jimmy from that day forward and you are truly loved as their uncle. You were the only one we trusted to watch them the few times we needed to get out:) You let them jump all over you and chase around the house till they were worn out, and you were laughing the entire time. That "Jimmy belly laugh" that sounds like a thousand smiles:) I miss that laugh so much.

At each and every party we have had here in the past 34 years, you were here helping right along side us, enjoying every moment. The boys 18th birthday party with live band in the backyard. Around 250 kids, helping be one of the "bouncers" along with Rick and Bob and Danny.

You helped Corky coach the boys soccer teams through the years and became all the kids Uncle Jimmy. Our team name-Outlaws- and we were. Most of the boys were having troubles at home with divorcing parents and lives falling apart, but they all felt safe with you and Corky, letting them vent and really listening to them was such a ministry you guys gave them. They even ran away to our house:)

I can't even begin to write about all the memories I have in my heart because there are so many years of them stored up in there. But I have to do this because I haven't allowed myself to grieve for you, it hurts too much but I need to do it, a little bit at a time.

One of the biggest blessings was the night of Josh and Erin's rehearsal dinner in the backyard garden. Corky cooked his famous spaghetti and I baked five cheesecakes and we had the yard fixed up pretty special for them. You and Kelly honored Josh's request and served the dinner to the 36 guests. You two were so great and warm and chatting with everyone. You made it so special and you kept my sanity from cracking as the events unfolded that day, the day before THE WEDDING DAY and anything that could go wrong, did. You laughed and help get things organized, ran to give Eric a jump for his dead battery twice on his way to pick up all the guys tuxes and get to the rehearsal. Using your AAA road card to tow Corky off the freeway offramp just before our turnoff to home, so close but he had to pick up his tux. He was so stiff for the rest of the week, hitting a military humvee going 60 mph to a complete stop.
You had the totalled truck towed and parked in the driveway and covered it with Janes tarp so I would not have to see it when guests started arriving after the rehearsal. I had to not think about it until after the wedding was over. I would have fallen apart. The devil was working overtime that afternoon. But you just looked at me and laughed and said the devil can just go to hell. We agreed and made our way through to the most beautiful evening that held so much meaning for us to have you as our family.

My only regret over all these years is the thing that cuts into my heart the most when I remember how much our neighbor hurt you with his ignorance. It rocked our world that Christmas and I watched you in so much pain and knew in my heart you would never hurt a child, ever. His apology, a few years too late felt so empty and yet it was at least admitted. I work on that forgiveness daily and it is not easy running into him from time to time. I haven't told him you are gone. He does not deserve to know. He does not understand the depth of the damage to ones spirit.

Jimmy, I know that you are healed and at the weight you always wanted to be. You were always teased for being overweight and I know it hurt you. Corky and I loved you just the way you were, the most perfect friend with the biggest heart!! No one can fill your shoes or big pants for that matter Jimmy. You are one of a kind and I am so thankful to have God put us all together in this life. You have always been our "Big Jimmy" with love and respect in our hearts. Thank you for telling me over the years that I didn't have to go to your funeral. You wanted to be remembered as you were the last time we saw each other. I am so thankful you had said that. I could not go to your funeral, I just could not let you go that soon. I am sorry but know you already forgive me. I love the memories I am thinking on as I go about my day and talk to the Lord. I know we will see eachother again in heaven and I am so glad. It is just the absence of you here that makes my heart hurt. I now understand when people say just one more day would be nice. But it would never be enough. I love and miss you Big Jimmy, so very much today.

Love and Hugs, Laurie (your sister)

First Week Of July Over..............

2010-07-08T10:06:00.000-07:00

Since I am not getting any younger as this year is half over, I thought I'd better get on here and chat a bit:) Isaac and Hannah are finally well!!!! After three months of crap and misdiagnosis, Isaacs horrific sinus infection is finally gone and he is back to being himself in technicolor:) He slept through the best part of his birthday party, campfire and s'mores and stories:( He was so exhausted and sinus infection not diagnosed yet. That was the end of May. Grandpa promised him a trip to the toy store for his birthday present. He was well to go yesterday when grandpa got home from work:) He told both of them to go potty and get in the car to go shopping. They were ready in a flash. I have to tell you here that Hannah decided about three weeks ago to potty train herself and wears her Dora underwear proudly.:) I can't believe that she took it all on herself to do this. She is 2 1/2 now and is such a crackup kid. She had a meltdown when she had an accident and peed her Dora panties. I really had to console her and make her laugh. Sheesh, it is so strange to see her do this on her own. Her mom and I are amazed and just smile when she does the "happy dance" when she is finished:)

Life here has been good and I have no complaints. Corky's job continues and we are so darned grateful for this. Health insurance costs went up, what's new? But we are glad it's there. We had a quiet Forth of July watching movies, Nascar, World Cup and in bed by 8:00pm. The fireworks didn't even wake us up:) Ahh, the life of ex-party animals, still alive to be here and laugh about it. On August 10th we will be celebrating our 42 years of marriage. Holy Cow, what a journey it has been to get to here. Truly a God Thing let me tell you. And we agree that with exception of the aches and pains, these are the best years now, being parents of two great adult sons and two of the greatest grandkids.

I've been trying my best to keep up with the yards so they don't get out of control again. Especially all of my vines:) They remind me of my personal life and how it gets out of control so easily when I don't pay attention. But pruning is good for me right? And I am headed for some pruning with much resistance. When will I ever grow up?

I need to get back into taking pictures of the grandkids when they are here so I can start posting them here again. They are growing up so fast and I am so proud of them.

That's it for now and if anyone still comes here, have a great day!!

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Another Month Just Flew By.............

2010-05-14T09:18:00.000-07:00

I should have known that getting back to posting here wouldn't be easy. What was I thinking? It is Spring (still) and this is when I come out of my winter hibernation. I have been enjoying working in the yards so much, keeping the vines tamed, plants all happy and growing, getting the lawns to fill back in. We have lots of birds feeding out of the feeders and a new family of babies learning how to fly outside my office window. Jake the dog and Amos the huge cat just lay around and watch them go back and forth. The weather has been amazing this Spring, just beautiful. The night blooming jasmine is bursting with the most heavenly smells that drift in the bedroom window while we are sleeping. I just love Spring. I was born in it, come out of hibernation in it, and everything grows new in it.:)

Isaac and Hannah are doing a sleepover tonight at our house. Dad is using the money we gave him for his 39th birthday (holy cow my boys are getting older) to treat mom to dinner and a movie and have some alone time they desperately need. We, on the other hand are looking forward to keeping them up a bit later and snacking. I know it's bad but we are grandpa and grandma. No rules for us:) Isaac will turn 5 on the 26th. He has grown so fast and continues to be my favorite grandson ever born. He just melts my heart to puddles with those big baby blue eyes. I bought a butterfly habitat for his birthday but it came the following day so we are in full butterfly nursery here and have 10 growing caterpillars that will be ready to put into the habitat next week. The kids are loving it and Hannah wants to hold them and rock them. Umm, not right now if you want to see them turn into "Painted Ladys".

Hannah is 2 1/2 and her vocabulary is totally through the roof. I think Isaac has helped that along quite a bit too:) She is in love with Grandpa and plays him like a fiddle. He is always catching himself getting ready to give in to those huge blue eyes and has to stop himself. There hasn't been a girl in the family for quite some time and this one takes the prize. So spirited and happy almost all of the time. Throw in a little "Drama Queen" with this girly girl and tom boy and she is a great mix. Isaac and Hannah have acquired the genetics for a warped sense of humor that only shows up in one family each generation and they can crack eachother up and get the giggles going. Then come the corny jokes between them. Their bond is thick though they can really tease eachother too. Hannah is our most favorite little girl in the world. It makes for a nice balance. I wonder if these alone times we give their parents could accidentally produce a third grandchild. They aren't planning but we know how plans go:) We have enough love to go around if the energy holds up:)

Corky's job continues to be a huge blessing for us. He works hard and is such a faithful employee. We don't take anything for granted during these unstable times but are so thankful as he just passed his 10 year mark that he is still there. And I have to say that he is loved by all in this company. I sure love him tons too and thank him for me getting to be a stay at home grandma too. I am always available any time they call. I love being a part of their lives and knowing they are safe with us.

I better close for now but if anyone still comes here, I am asking that you pray for my sweet friend Kelli as the live kidney donor hunt is on and one still needs to be found. I know God has a plan for her but it hasn't been revealed to her yet. Four years is a long time to be doing this and she needs His strength moment by moment. Thanks so much.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Monday And A New Week Ahead...

2010-04-12T06:43:00.000-07:00

We had a wonderful April shower that hit about 3:00am. It woke me up and sounded so good. I hope it washed tons of pollen away and I know the yards loved it too.

In February my son Eric asked if we would have a surprise party for his wife on their second wedding anniversary. They didn't have a wedding or reception when they got married. The date? April 3rd. The day after Good Friday and the day before Easter Sunday. Okay... We got tons of yardwork done and spring cleaning too. It was a rush to get it all done in time and my Sis in law and I worked our butts off!!! The yards and trees got cut back quite a lot and are now happy and blooming. The party was great and it was so good to see some of their friends and their kids. Just like old times in the yard. So many parties have taken place back there over the 34 years we have lived here. Corky made spaghetti and I baked cheesecakes. Sis and I got buzzed on Strawberry Margaritas and enjoyed the fruits of all our labor. We swore this was the last time yet we have been thinking about the next one:) It was sweet to watch Isaac share "HIS" yard with all the kids that came. He got to help his Uncle Eric build a new set of stairs to the upper yard, using a lot of the old things I had hanging around. They turned out great.

Easter Sunday I got to meet "Logan" who was born February 2nd. He is Annie's new baby. Annie is one of the three sisters who had been my neighbors since they were born. I have been their surrogate mom since they lost their mom to cancer back in 1994. This baby is so healthy, gorgeous and loved. Their dad remarried and still lives next door. Martina, his wife is in labor right now with her first baby. A new brother or sister for Annie, Kristina and Melissa:) The girls all live in Venice and Beverly Hills now but I always see them when they come down to their dads. I will be seeing a lot of them now with the new baby too. This is their home away from home. I love these girls so much.

Isaac and Hannah will be here soon so I will close for now and get ready for a fun day with them. I hope everyone has a wonderful day.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Almost Six Months Have Flown By...

2010-04-10T07:29:00.000-07:00

I have no idea if anyone even stops by here anymore and that's okay. It has almost been six months since I last posted. I am still trying to get things in order around here, both inside the house and outside in the yards. It is coming along but still lots to do. The same is true with my spiritual life and God is showing me how patient He is with me. Be still, know that He is God, and keep moving forward with Him.

The holidays were wonderful, all of them. It is my nature to hibernate in the winter and this season was no exception. When I hibernate, I go inward on myself, looking back to where I came from, the things that have been healed and the things that need work. I am a work in progress and am so thankful that God is not in a hurry with me:) I am in a hurry with myself and am learning to chill out.

I turned 62 in March and in my heart I feel younger than I ever thought possible. The outward appearance is showing the wear and tear of so many years, but my heart keeps getting younger as I work on myself. Isaac and Hannah make me young at heart too. These two treasures never cease to amaze me in feeling loved. They just love me, discipline and all. I would never do anything that would hurt them, physically or spiritually, risking losing their trust. I was hurt deeply when I was their age and life made no sense to me. I heal little pieces of that life everytime I do something right with them and the response I get in return is hugs and kisses and love. The way it should be for all children. I am so blessed to be a part of my own healing process as I love these kids, and my own sons with all my heart. Healing is a slow and steady process with many potholes along the way, but healing is the active adjective that keeps occurring along the way. And I am learning to accept myself more like God does.

I have some prayer requests that I would like to share:

1. Kelli needs a kidney. Her list of transplant possibilities is empty now. I know that this is when God does His best work and I am asking that you remember my dear friend who needs His touch now. I love her and my heart hurts for her to get the miracle only He can provide.

2. Mallorie had surgery and I am praying for her to have a completely successful recovery and that it solves the problems she has been having. She is such a wonderful little girl as is Annabel, who needs our prayers too. And their mommies Cathy and Connie who are my dear friends.

3. Emma Grace, "Especially Heather's" daughter who has been in the hospital fighting for her precious life. Heather and her husband need prayer too. I can't imagine the pain they are in, watching their daughter go through so much.

There are many more but these are my "urgents".

Life has been blessed and I have no complaints, only praise and thankfulness. Corky's job continues to hold on through these hard days for so many and I know we are not out of the woods by a long shot. We just keep trusting Him and He is faithful.

I am loving Spring and working in the yards, getting dirty and knowing something pretty is to follow:) The dandelions are in full bloom, I don't pull them anymore since they are Asher's flowers now:). I love to watch Isaac and Hannah blow the seeds into the air with huge smiles on their faces. I see it as spreading the love:)

Well, that's all for now, more to come in the days ahead, even if I am only writing to myself the words I need to hear and remember. Happy Spring everyone. Hey, do me a favor and let me know if you are here okay?

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Alive And Coming Back Soon!

2009-10-12T11:44:00.000-07:00

In case anyone still checks in on me here and I don't blame you if you have given up, I am coming back to blogging soon. I have had a lot of time to decompress from the addiction to looking for sorrow and feel a balance settling in my heart.

I am cleaning the house from top to bottom in preparation for the holidays and it feels so good to have an early jump on it. My sister in law who was fired and retired is helping out of sheer boredom and we are really blowing through the mess. It started with bombing the house for fleas that have been horrible this summer. We are having a great time of fellowship while we are at it:)

God continues to be so beyond excellent in our lives and we are so grateful for Corky's job. He has been out of town for the past month and a half and will be until the end of the month, cleaning up the messes that one individual created who has now been released of his job. Things are turning around in the company for the good now. So, just wanted to check in and say I will be back probably regular in November, just in time for the holidays.

Oh, and the grandkids are just fantastic and I love them more and more every moment of the day.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

PS. I still pray for all of you, my faithful friends.

I Am Still Here: Just Weeding A Few Things Out

2009-06-17T12:32:00.000-07:00

I am still here and haven't gone anywhere. I have just been getting some things reorganized in my home and here. We are all fine, life has been good, and getting ready for summer to get here.

We have been having so much fun with the grandkids. They spent the past two weekends with us and it was great, tiring but great. Hannah has stole grandpa's heart completely. She makes his eyes twinkle:) And she knows how to "work" him. I love watching him with her. She is the first girl in the family so it is such a treat. Isaac does everything now with the force of being a "four year old". In his mind, it all became bigger and better with turning four. I just love these kids so much and they are such a joy to have around. I have got to upload my camera and get some pictures up when I get motivated.

I have also done some blog thinning over the past week or two. I am keeping up with all of my close people, but have decided to stop following others for the sake of something to read. I know it sounds harsh, but I really get out there with clicking on other's blog rolls. I want to keep it intimate and always pray for those who come here and ask, but I have to stop looking for other things to carry around with me. I hope this makes sense and please know I will be following all of you who know who you are to me. And new people are welcome too, I am just not out and scouting anymore. I am going back to letting God bring you to me:) What a concept right? So I have thinned my list and probably will do more as I go along. If you bring someone to me for prayer, I will pray for them. Always.

So, I will post more in the coming days, I just wanted to tell you where I have been and what I am doing. I love you guys and hope you hang around with me.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

A Few Thoughts On This Tuesday

2009-06-10T06:28:00.000-07:00

I didn't mean to leave things hanging here after my last post but it got a little busy around here with the grandkids spending the weekend and just life in general. This is just a short update and tomorrow I am going to try and post some pictures to catch up.

First of all, Kristy's baby Hope turned one week old yesterday:) She is just gorgeous and such a blessing to their family. Prayers are still needed for the blisters they are treating and there have been no new ones developing. Praying it stays this way and for Kristy's nerves and heart. She is no stranger to disappointment and needs Gods grace to soothe her weary heart. Please continue to pray for them.

Second, in case you haven't noticed, April Rose's button has been removed from my blog. If you are curious, you can click on the Sundays button or Stellans button for the details. I am so very disappointed that someone would do such a thing here on the blogs of mothers suffering true loss of their babies. Such a low blow to our "Sisters" in the Lord who offered their support out of their own pain. I could go on and on but I won't because it would be easy to fall into judgement and it truly is not my right to judge anyone. This was a big one though my friends and your prayers are appreciated for all involved. So many of my sweet friends were hurt by this. It truly is a sad thing.:(

Corky and I have been enjoying the rewards of our patience with our new and improved plumbing. What a joy to jump in a shower and see new fresh tiles looking back at us:) And to have two working pottys that actually flush and not back up! We are both so content and don't have to worry about company coming over anymore and having to use the yard:)

I have the grandkids coming today so I am going to close this for today and catch up on some things tomorrow. I hope you all have a blessed day and remember to count your blessings. I know I am doing just that all day long:)

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Pleading For Prayers Tonight My Friends

2009-06-03T19:46:00.000-07:00

Most of you know already, but for my other friends who don't know, Kristy had her sweet baby, Hope Amelia on Monday. The baby has developed skin lesions where her ID bracelet was and blisters in other places of friction. I don't know much, but I know your prayers are needed urgently for their family right now. They are taking her to a specialist in Pittsburgh tomorrow and Kristy is still freshly healing from her C section. Kristy is heartbroken for her baby right now and I can only imagine the fear that fills her heart. Please be on your knees for them tonight and tomorrow as they travel.

Thank you so much my prayer partners, we need eachother always. I love you.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

June Is Here Already And May Is Gone

2009-06-01T05:28:00.000-07:00

Once again, the month of May flew by and today is the first of a new month. I have been enjoying the last week and a half not having any workers in the house. I am getting things put back together and enjoying some of the best showers in my life:) The plumbing is done and everything works excellent. I am a happy camper.

On Friday while watching Isaac and Hannah, there was a knock at the door and it was my Sissy, (Corky's sister). She is a nurse, has been for over 30 years and I thought she was on her way to work. She said she had just been fired. Her boss, Dr. Ross died last summer. He was the most wonderful "old school" doctor who saved my life when I got breast cancer. He considered us family and we were close. He let Sissy be the kind and compassionate nurse God intended her to be with his patients. New doctors in the practice started squeezing her out after his death. Why did they let her go? Because she talked with and encouraged the patients. The doctors say it is their job and yet they don't do it. Oh, I could go on and on but would you just pray for her heart at this time? She is 65 and it is such a blow, like being put out to pasture. I know God has her covered and she trusts Him.

Isaac turned four with a vengence:) Everything he does now is stronger and smarter because "I am four now grandma". I just love this little guy. Last week we went shopping and got all of our water toys for summer. Squirt guns and cannons, Hose hook up water and ball shooter, all things wet! We tried them all out when Grandpa got home. He (Grandpa) couldn't wait to shoot the cannon thing, it goes for about 10 to 12 feet and has power. Hannah played with her purple squirt gun Isaac picked out for her and it was a crack up. She held it backwards in her hand and used her thumb on the trigger, which blasted her in the face each time she squeezed it. She was cracking herself up and loved it. It will be a fun and wet summer here:)

In the next few weeks I will be lining up my appointments for physical, pap smear, mammogram etc. and would appreciate your prayers. It always makes me nervous. Then I need to hit the dentist to get some serious work done. I don't mind dental work at all and root canals are a breeze for me. I am just embarrassed to get started with a new dentist and the condition of my teeth.

On a lighter note, Miss Bolte, Kristy's baby girl will be a June baby after all. She will be delivered by C section on the 3rd if she doesn't show up before then. Please pray for her as she waits and looks forward to meeting her sweet girl. I am so excited for her and am praying for peace and joy to fill their family. This is their fifth child, and Isaac and Asher are with the Lord.

There is not much else going on around here right now. I am going to close for today and go hit a nice cool shower and get ready for the kids to get here. I hope you all have a great day. Say Hi if you stop in, my readership is down lately:) Let me know if you need prayers for anything okay?

Love and Hugs, Laurie

It's Wednesday And I Am Happy

2009-05-20T08:13:00.000-07:00

My tile guy showed up this morning and is working on getting things finished here. I am so glad, I was starting to feel whiney and I don't like to be around me when I whine.

The grandkids will be here in an hour and it will be another outside day of play. Hannah went to MOPS last Friday and came down with another cold. Ugh. This happens every time they go and I told their mom to just leave them with me, that way none of us will get sick. The fresh air will do her good today.

I can't wait to get the work done here so I can make my physical exam appt, mammogram appt, and get to the dentist. I have a raging tooth and am on antibiotics to calm it right now but I need to get it taken care of along with three or four others. I don't have strong teeth and they have taken a beating over the years. I don't smile because I am embarrassed. And I am a person who just loves to smile. ~sigh~ So, this will be my summer agenda.

I have been blessed this month by receiving three emails from mommies who have lost their babies, who found me on other blogs I visit. I am always reminded of God's goodness when this happens because I know it is Him who makes this happen. To be asked to pray for someone who I don't know personally is such an honor. I know that prayer works and God hears. I got an email from a father of a girl who I have been visiting who lost her full term baby to still birth. It is heartbreaking. He wrote to thank me for encouraging his daughter and hoped that in this "cyber world" that I was sincere. What a blessing for this girl to have such a loving and caring father!!
I wrote him back and told him that I truly did care and he could visit here to find out about me. I just love his heart for his daughter.

Little Kayleigh on my sidebar left to be with the Lord in the past two weeks. They could use our prayers for this heartbreaking time. She was so close to going home for the first time since her birth, the one pound miracle. Her memorial videos are beautiful if you have time to click on and watch. Three more babies have gone to be with the Lord just in this month and their families are really struggling in this new reality they are facing. I will never understand this side of heaven, why our little ones must go before us, but I trust God. I read something Heather wrote a while back on her blog that really summed it up for me. She said, "Sometimes, it is in the silence of the answers that Christ speaks the loudest. Maybe, just maybe there is no answer, it is just what it is, His Will." This settled in my heart and allowed me to stop trying to figure God out. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. And I am not.:)

One more favor before I close for the day, please keep Kristy and Miss Baby Bolte in your prayers as her birthday is any time now. Pray for the peace that passes all understanding for Kristy and for joy to fill her heart. This little girl is checking in perfect in all of her appointments as God is doing a new thing in their family. I am so excited for them. Thanks guys and I love you. Have a super blessed day today.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Monday Morning And May Is Half Over

2009-05-18T06:30:00.000-07:00

It is Monday morning here in California and I am sure it is all over the news that we had an earthquake last night about 8:40 p.m. It was a good shaker at 4.7 and was centered about 40 miles north of us. It felt like someone lifted up the house and shook it from side to side for about 20 seconds. I really need to get a kit together so if the power goes out, I don't have to raid all of Isaac and Hannahs toys for batteries:)

I am hoping that the guys come this morning and grout the floor tiles and get things finished up this week. My patience is in a coma at this point and I want a warm shower so bad!! I can't wait to wipe down the cobwebs on the walls and put things back together.

In the meantime, I ordered two new sets of sheets yesterday and can't wait for them to arrive. My old ones are shot. They are the jersey T-Shirt material ones and I can't tell you how comfy they have been. I won't go back to the others anymore. They are soft and feel like you are sleeping in your most comfy favorite T-Shirt. I love them. Corky does too so it's all so good.

Isaac and Hannah will be here today and I am looking forward to playing. We went shopping yesterday and we are all stocked up on goodies for the kids. Shhh, don't tell mom and dad that I give them ice cream sandwiches and tons of fruit. It will be another outside day even though it is overcast here. As long as it is not raining, we play outside in the fresh air. I am loving having the windows open in the house all day and night. It will stay this way until November. We have so many birds in the trees singing all day long and things are blooming all over the place. The jasmine in the front and back yards keep blooming and they smell heavenly.

How did your weekend go for you? Ours was so relaxing and I got a lot of nap time in. Let me know how you are and if you need prayer okay? I love you guys.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOSH AND ERIC

2009-05-12T10:56:00.000-07:00

It is hard to believe that you boys are 38 years old today. After posting about your birth last week, it seems like it was just yesterday that you were little and life was running at full speed. There has been so much joy over these past 38 years, watching you grow up into the young men you are today. There have been times of great heartache too, watching you learn the hard lessons of life, not being able to step in and rescue you from your own wrong choices. No amount of warnings and advice would keep you from learning your own lessons, your own way. But you did great through it all and it has made better men of you both. Your Dad and I are so proud to call you our sons and walk this life with you as you have your own families to nurture and love. To hear you say that we did it right with you, even though you sometimes didn't like it, makes us feel so special and honored. We didn't always do it right, but to not have it held against us is priceless. We love you guys more today than we ever thought possible, and we will always be mom and dad to you. We are so thankful that you both know the Lord and He is your savior. May you always rely on Him to direct your paths. He is faithful and keeps His promise to never leave or forsake us. We can count on Him.

I hope your day is full of joy and love and you know how special you both are to us and everyone who knows you. You are our treasures from God. And we just love that you only live 15 minutes away from home. Love and Blessings to you both today.

Love and Hugs, Mom and Dad

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY To All Of You

2009-05-09T17:24:00.000-07:00

Friday Trip Down Memory Lane Part 4

2009-05-08T05:56:00.000-07:00

Backing up a bit here, it was July of 1971 and the boys were two months old. I pretty much had this mom thing down to a science by now, and we decided to go to the beach with our friends. The boys first time and our friends chose which beach we would go to. "Thousand Steps in South Laguna. I had never been there but it was right across the street from the hospital where the boys were born so hey, this will be fun. We walked down a little public sidewalk between sweet Laguna Beach Cottages and there it was, the beach below, way down there...down a thousand steps perched on the side of the cliff, no hand rail, just steps. I froze inside, vertigo. After much coaxing and gripping the babies in a death grip, we made it to the sand. We set up our stuff and stuck the unbrella in the sand and the guys hit the water. I "volunteered" to stay behind with the babies:) It was hot and trying to nurse my babies and cover up so as not to offend anyone was becoming quite the challenge. Out of nowhere, a sweet woman came up and asked if I would be more comfortable in her cabana. CABANA? Like in comfortable shade CABANA? I looked behind me and about 20 feet away was her cabana up against the cliff, next to the "elevator" that went up and down from her house above!!
Ummm, okay, how sweet is this? She helped me with my things and led me to her "Oasis" in the sand. She set me up in a lounge chair and said to go ahead and feed my babies. No one would come close enough to see me or bother me. Wow, I'd died and gone to heaven for sure. But, someone DID see me and came over and checked out my boys and my new friend was surprised at this. I apologized and told her this lady was my natural birthing teacher, Dionne Wright. Dionne reached in her bag and got out a notebook and pen and wanted me to tell her all about my birthing experience for her records. I think she forgot that we only made it to three of the eight classes before the boys got here. So, I sat there nursing my boys and recounted the details to her as she madly wrote them down. She asked who taught me how to nurse the boys (she was a Lamaze Coach too) and I told her it was kind of a no brainer, the milk was there in abundance and the boys got hungry. My "new friend" (cabana owner) sat and smiled as she listened to me tell my story. Dionne was holding her breath as she wrote it all down, until it got to the "back labor" part being so painful that I asked for the NO-NO DRUGS. She gasped and said "you didn't" and I said "oh yes I did!" She closed her notebook right then and there and smiled politely and after ackwardly looking at my boys one last time, she strolled off down the beach! I felt like such a failure at that moment and tears started streaming down my face. My new friend uttered three words under her breath, "What A Bitch!" After what seemed like hours, she asked me to please continue with my story for her. She said the best was yet to come and so I told her the rest and when I was finished, she had tears in her eyes and kept saying "such a miracle". She saved my mind that day. I started to change diapers and she took over one baby and did it for me while I diapered the other. Looking back, I know she was an Angel Unaware for me that day. She rescued my heart like a good mother would and I couldn't thank her enough for her kindness. To this day I feel she had a story of her own that was left unspoken. Now that I am her age, I realize it could have been anything but she chose to minister to me. I never saw her again but will always remember her kindness at a time when I needed it most.

When the guys got back to the sand, Corky was looking around for me and the kids and I waved until he saw me at the cabana. He came over with a huge smile on his face and thanked my new friend for making his family comfortable. We said our goodbyes and gathered up our treasures and climbed the steps, all bazillion of them as I thought of that lady's elevator that glided up the cliff to the street level above.:)
I know, don't push my luck but I know she would have offered it in a heartbeat.

I never forgot how crushed I was at not being able to go natural all the way. When I told Corky about Dionne and her disappointment in me, he got tears in his eyes and told me that I had given him the two most wonderful gifts in the whole world and he was glad when I was able to get relief from the pain when they were born. Everything was such a competition back in those days, organic, natural childbirth, nursing, Mr. Rogers and Sesame Street.:) So much pressure on top of just being a mom and trying to please everyone first. It would be decades until I realized that you can't please anyone all of the time. And who wants to anyway?~sigh~ I think this is one of the big reasons I enjoy following younger moms pregnancies these days and pray for them to make it through. Mine was a piece of cake really, five hours of labor, two perfectly healthy boys, no frills, no NICU, I didn't know what a problem was really. I know different now, and my eyes have been opened to the heartache of others, and I am honored to be a prayer warrior for all who come my way. I have so much to be grateful for and have been blessed so much.

I will close for today and ask anyone of you who are still reading to remember to pray for Kayleigh on my sidebar and for her family in this uncertain time of their lives. Also be in prayer for Kristy as she waits to meet her baby girl, that God will choose the perfect time for her birthday, and Kristy to be at total peace. I will be back tomorrow. I love you guys!

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Thursday Trip Down Memory Lane Part 3

2009-05-07T05:48:00.000-07:00

As I was enjoying the best 10 minute shower of my life, Corky opened the shower curtain and was holding a crying baby and said "Hurry". I shut the shower off, started drying off quickly and as I looked down to see why I was not getting dry, I saw squirting milk out of both sides. I quickly discovered how this worked, baby cried, milk came down, simple. We were on our own with the boys. Our place had no room for anyone to come and help. I liked it that way. My mom kept calling and wanting me to come stay with her for a week so I could rest. I couldn't say to her that I did not want to be anywhere near my dad with my new treasures. This was the first pure time in my life and I wanted to keep it that way.

We soon got it down to a science and during the night, I nursed a baby, handed him over to dad to burp and nursed the other baby. This took an hour and we did it every two and a half hours. During the day when Corky was at work, I nursed them both at the same time with the help of lots of pillows. That helped cut down on 45 minutes of feeding time, four times a day, giving me 3 extra hours to get things done when they were sleeping. We went to the laundromat once a week with 15 loads of laundry. And we used Pampers at the time. The ones with no elastic in the legs and waist, and one-shot only tape tabs. And no gel stuff that keeps swelling with wetness until they look like a pumpkin butt. We went through a box of 30 per day. My boys did not tolerate being wet. We spent more on diapers than gas for the truck. God made sure I had an abundance of milk on demand. He knew we couldn't afford formula AND diapers.:)

My girlfriend Joanne had her daughter two weeks after I had the boys. On occasions when we needed to leave our kids with eachother, feeding was no problem. We just nursed eachothers kids until mommy got back:) I always hurried because I knew Joanne didn't have the same milk supply as me. My girlfriend Susie had her baby boy three months after me and she had a car!!! We went everywhere together because I would wake the boys up and go anywhere with her just to get out of the apartment. No car seats, just a front seat full of babies.

On one of my daily afternoon walks with the boys in their stroller, I walked past a cute house a block and a half away from our apartment and saw a "For Rent" sign being put out front. I circled the block and came back to take a peek. The owners fell in love with the boys and showed me the house. Two bedrooms!!!!!!!!! Fenced back yard with a plum tree!!!!! Big kitchen with a Laundry Porch leading to the backyard!!!!! Did I mention two bedrooms?? The rent was $185.00 a month. We were paying $90.00 for our apartment. But this house had two bedrooms. And our boys were walking and running and confined to an apartment with no where to play outside except the sidewalk. I took Corky over to the house when he got home from work and he fell in love too. We tightened our belt and took the plunge. We got two dogs and I got a used washing machine for the laundry porch. I was in heaven not having to go to the laundromat and hung my clothes out on my clothesline Corky put up for me. I loved that house. I potty trained the boys in that back yard and my neighbor Jackie was a Christian. We lived there for almost 4 years until we moved into the house we are in now, right after the boys turned 5. We have been here ever since. Only 2 miles from the old house, and closer to the ocean. My girlfriend Susie lived here and they were buying their first house. I asked her if her landlord would rent the house to us and she made a call. Yes, send them $160.00 and we could move in. This was 1976 and we never met them until 4 years ago:) I had to really talk Corky into moving here. The three bedrooms, double car garage, huge backyard and fireplace sold him, not to mention $25.00 less per month in rent and being on the bluffs over the ocean. And here we are!! The boys started kindergarten here, graduated high school in 1989 here with the hugest party we ever had as they knew everyone in high school! Josh's rehearsal dinner in the back yard, and now his kids have his old room here and play in the same yard. Their 20 year reunion is next month and all of their friends will be in town for it. I look forward to them dropping in at the "Party House" here as this was their home away from home. Yes, we were the parents that took their keys at the door, let them "party" and spend the night wherever they found room to roll out their sleeping bags in the backyard or in the house. We knew where our kids were and even though that didn't make it right in some ways, they are all grown with their own kids now and I am grandma to MANY:) Things were different back then weren't they?

The guys are coming to work on the tile today so I am going to wrap it up and continue tomorrow. I never kept a journal of anything, so this is really stirring up memories for me to journal it now. I am hoping to post about my mother since mothers day is coming, but it will be hard for me in so many ways. She has been gone for 9 years now and so much of our "relationship" is blank to me. It just is.

Have a great day everyone if you are still with me and still reading. I feel like I am catching up on a lifetime of memories that I need to write down for myself in case my memory starts slipping out on me:)

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Tuesday's Trip Down Memory Lane Part 2

2009-05-05T05:57:00.000-07:00

One week before the boys "arrived" we decided to take a drive up the coast to get me out of the "studio apartment". Kind of a test run to see how long it would take us to get to the hospital in South Laguna. Twenty minutes, not bad at all. On the way home, we stopped to get some black licorice for me and a coke for Corky. I was chomping on licorice as he was trying to start the truck. It would NOT start!! "We'll have to jump start it." He'll push, I'll pop the clutch. We've done it many times before, times when I could get behind the wheel! To drive this old truck, left foot goes on the clutch, right foot goes half on the starter pedal on the floor and the other half of foot on the gas. I had to sit sideways to get behind the wheel and still reach all the pedals. He pushed the truck, I popped pedals, NOTHING. It was 10:00 at night and thank God the parking lot was empty. We did this maneuver three more times before he yelled out in his last dying breath "Are you sure you have the key on?" Uhhh I think as I look down and turn the key on, "Of course I have the key on, I am pregnant, not stupid!" He pushed and BINGO, it started! He got back in the truck dripping wet, poor guy and we headed home. It was years before I admitted this to him.

Fast forward to a week later and we are wide awake playing dominos at 11:30 on a Tuesday night and I walk through the kitchen on my way back from the bathroom and I feel a hot gush of water and see a puddle on the floor. Corky in his sweet state of all things denial says perhaps I had an accident.:) I tell him I think my water broke. "What now?" he asks. Call the doctors office and we get the exchange and tell her that my water broke and what should we do next. "Wait until the contractions get to be about 5 to 6 minutes apart and head for the hospital. And Dr. White is on vacation so Dr. Stoney will meet us there." WHAT??? I waited until I was 5 1/2 months along to get Dr. White to deliver me. I was so bummed. We kept playing dominos, waiting for the contractions that never came, just a backache that was getting more intense by the moment. At 2:30 am on Wednesday morning, we called the exchange and said we were headed to the hospital. We loaded up the "wicker laundry basket", the baby afghans my grandma crocheted, one blue-one pink, wishful thinking on her part and headed out. Dr. Stoney met us after I was all settled in and said he was so excited to be delivering his first set of twins. Hooray for you bud, I wanted Dr. White to be there. I was dialating nicely and I was sticking to my natural childbirth mantra of NO DRUGS!! I had back labor so every contraction felt like my back was going to snap. Around 5:00 am I was starting to think about drugs alot, I mean really wanting them!!:) Corky kept saying "no drugs babe, you are strong, you can do it." He was only doing what I made him swear he would do. By 7:00, in a deep growling voice from somewhere deep within me, I politely DEMANDED something to ease the pain. No epidurals back then, just a spinal block. And who do you think walked in the door right after this happened?? DR. WHITE!!! Yep, he called the exchange to see what was happening and found out I was in labor and came to my rescue:) :) Dr. Stoney was so bummed! I was so numbed from the waist down, and we went to the delivery room. One of the babies would be breach, we didn't know which one. Just push and wait for a head or a foot. It seemed normal to me at the time. I pushed for about 20 minutes and at 7:28am Josh's head popped out and we had our first boy. It was the first time I saw Corky cry. So sweet. Josh weighed in at 7lbs. 3ozs and was 20 inches long. Dr. White asked if I wanted to push and try to get the second one who was breach to turn around. "I have a choice?" Yes, I can push or he can go in and get him. "Go get him!" He reached in, turned him around and delivered Eric head first. He weighed in at 6 lbs. and was 19 inches. I love this doctor. Nowadays, they would have thought he was barbaric in his approach but I am so glad he was my doctor. Two healthy big boys and Corky was crying and amazed. No NICU, no nothing. No cell phone to get the word out either:) My breastmilk came in the next day and the boys picked up on it right away. Friday morning we were wheeled out to the truck and we placed our wrapped babies in the wicker laundry basket (yep, no car seats required:) and headed home to our studio apartment. We pulled up to the curb, took our "treasures in a basket" in the house and shut the door. There was only room for one crib that fit in the corner 2 feet beside our bed. We put both babies in the crib, sat down and waited for our next move, whatever that was going to be.:) Ignorance was such bliss back then I have to tell you. I jumped in the shower that felt like heaven on earth. And I will stop here for today and do part 3 tomorrow.

One gift a girlfriend gave me would become the most valuable gift ever. It was 4 sturdy springs that screwed into the legs of the crib, like shock absorbers on a car. Whenever the babies would move, the crib would rock in a soft back and forth, side to side motion, putting them back to sleep. I had a string tied to the bars and during the night would gently tug on it to get a few more minutes of rest before the feeding began.:)

Have a beautiful day today and count each and every one of your blessings. I have so many more as I look back and realize how blessed my pregnancy was, really.:)

Love and Hugs, Laurie

First Monday In May And A Trip Down Memory Lane

2009-05-04T09:59:00.000-07:00

It was 37 years, 353 days ago that I was in the race to celebrate my very first Mothers Day for me. I was in my 37th week of pregnancy with my twin sons. Only five days to go till Mothers Day and these boys made me wait until the Wednesday after to make me a mom. So, even though they will be 38 on May 12th, this Sunday will be my 37th official Mothers Day.~sigh~ Since I enjoy following so many girls pregnancies, I thought I'd do a post about my own:) I can't believe that this is going to sound like one of those "When I was a kid, I tromped 5 miles through the snow in a blizzard to get to school" posts. In many ways, it will sound exactly like that.

My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage in my third month. No one really talked about it back then so I pretty much grieved in silence. Five months later I was pregnant again and waited until I was 5 1/2 months along to see my doctor, Dr. William White in South Laguna. He was the only doctor at the time in our area here at the coast who started allowing husbands to be a part of the birth IF we took a Natural Childbirth Class. When I got to his office, he asked why I waited so long to start prenatal care. I told him it was the first available appointment I could get with him. So, we did a pregnancy test (Yep) and he was cracking up but it was for the record. I was huge by this time and he put me on a 1000 calorie a day diet to slow my weight down. No ultrasounds back then and only heartbeat checked and everything sounded great. One strong heartbeat. I about starved to death trying to stick to only 1000 calories per day and kept gaining weight. I used to walk a mile to the store one way and back each day. (See, the snow part:) Truth is that we had only one 1948 pick up truck and Corky needed it to work! So, I walked. At 7 1/2 months along, I didn't count weeks back then, I was in the checkout line and the "BABY" decided to do a shift maneuver and dove around to my side, leaving my frontside almost flat. The checker stared in total shock and watched me move the huge lump back to the front. I knew then that there was something going on inside that only one baby could be doing. Too many lumps and bumps.
I called the doctor and told him I was starving and I felt I may be having twins. He asked if there was a history of them in the family. Ummm, yeah, 5 sets of them that I knew of, and my grandmother on my dad's side was a twin. He sent me to the lab for an xray, yep, no ultrasounds and screens back then. The tech was a woman who lived across the street from me and with lots of the lead blankets on my stomach, took the xray. She couldn't tell me the results, the doctor had to "Read" the xray first. But she said it was up on the board in the room on the way to the bathroom in case I needed to pee. I peeked in and saw the most beautiful sight. Two babies like a mirror image, head to head and feet to feet. Elsie, my neighbor and tech made me promise not to say anything to the doctor and let him call me with the news. I loved Elsie, she had two darling little boys who would come over to my house and visit me every day. Dr. White called about two hours later and was apologizing up a storm and told me to throw out that nasty diet and start eating my brains out. No Problem!! At my appointment the next day he had to really search and as I manipulated the lumps in my belly, he found the second heartbeat. He told me to stay off my feet and rest. They could come anytime. Okay, I did this for two weeks and about went out of my mind. Corky brought me bouquets of black licorice home every night. That's what I craved and what stopped my tears. I continued to walk every day even though I looked like a beached whale. I thought I would forget how to drive as I couldn't fit behind any steering wheel even with the seat pushed back all the way.

We hurried up and got in the childbirth class before it was too late. We got three out of eight behind us before the boys came. The instructor was so excited because ours was the first set of twins for her. She also taught Lamaze. She was the ultimate barefoot hippie earth mother and it was 1971. Corky was 21 and I was 22 and we were leaving the hippie life behind for the real world. She taught us that no matter how much pain we would be experiencing, just say NO TO DRUGS. She took such an interest in me having two babies and how I was going to manage it all and put a feather in her career cap! She nursed her three year old son as she taught the class, seriously. He would walk up, lift her shirt and start drinking away:) I knew I was going to breastfeed but I figured I'd probably stop before they could ask for "Boobie".:)

I am going to stop for today because Hannah is here now and this is getting long. I am doing it mainly for myself to remember and you are welcome to take the journey back in time with me. I will post part 2 tomorrow. It starts to get interesting if I remember correctly:) Have a great Monday and I hope your weather is as beautiful as ours is!

Love and Hugs, Laurie

The First Saturday In May

2009-05-02T08:39:00.000-07:00

April is gone and I won't even ask where it went. May is a busy month around here starting with Mothers Day on the 10th, Josh and Eric's birthday on the 12th, Isaac's 4th birthday on the 26th, my great nephews 5th birthday same day as Isaacs, my great nieces 2nd birthday (have to check the date). So, it's a busy month and I need to stay "awake" and not daydream so much. I've been doing a lot of that lately instead of doing the things on my "to do list" that need to get done. I love having all the doors and windows open in the house and listen to the birds outside in the trees. I can always tell when it is feeding time because I can really hear the babies chime in.
I love the hummingbirds that come right up and shower in the sprinkler while I water the plants by hand. They are so sweet! Poor Amos the cat has been getting harrassed by a huge bluejay that has a nest in the tree above the patio. Her babies are practicing jumping out of their nest and learning to take little flights. She dive bombs on him and though I feel sorry for him, I understand the mother instinct she has for her babies. I get lost sitting out there and listening to the sound of the water fountains and windchimes tinkling. I just get lost:) This is how I daydream and talk to God at the same time. I am praying for Kayleigh and her parents as they face such darkness in their lives. If you have a chance, click on her button and read the last few posts. She is alive but brain dead after surgery. Her parents face such hardship in decisions for her and for their finances. Stellan is back home with his family and living day by day with his condition that only God knows. I have found two new Trisomy 18 babies to pray for who are due later this year. Three babies who have Anacephaly (sp?) who will be born soon, Noah and April Rose, and one baby who is ten weeks old with this condition and doing well so far. I don't know why I get pulled into these families, but my heart hurts for them so much.

And, I am so excited for Kristy as her little girl will be born this month!! It has been a long road for her and Howard, losing Isaac and Asher, and waiting for this baby girl who appears to be perfect in every way. God promised them that He was doing a NEW thing in their lives, and this little girl is it. Praying for hope and joy to replace any doubts and fears as they wait to meet her face to face and look into her eyes. Your prayers for her would be so great. I can't wait to meet baby #5.

So, this is what I have been doing this past week and I think I better get busy and get my day going. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and do a little daydreaming along the way.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Sharing A Bit Of Spring Around Here

2009-04-22T07:11:00.000-07:00

Well, I see I am going to get this backwards here but it's okay with me. My long neglected backyard is starting to bloom with a little bit of TLC from me. I don't have a manacured garden by any means. Whatever will grow out there in the shade of the huge pine tree is truly a survivor. I let the yard have it's way since it is going to do just that anyway. Isaac was so excited to have his own rainbow visit him in the sprinkler. Of course, he wanted to know how it got there and to be honest, I just told him that God was paying us a visit.:) He just got a huge smile on his face and said "yeah":) I have lots of work to do to get the yard all cleaned up but it feels good to be out there working in the wee hours of the morning when the sun is rising and a chill is in the air. This yard has so many memories of 32 years of living in it. Weddings, rehearsal dinners, birthday parties, family reunions, childhood campouts under the pine tree, my therapy spot when I needed to sit and have a good cry about things I could not change. I talk to God all the time when I am out there working because all of the wonderful memories come flooding in and they are all good, and I am grateful to thank Him for all that life has given us in this house and out in that yard. It is the memories that make this place Home Sweet Home. More pictures to come as I get things cleaned up. Have a great day you guys. I love you.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Sharing A Little Touch Of Cuteness-Miss Hannah

2009-04-20T16:25:00.000-07:00

Monday Again And Absolutely Gorgeous Weather

2009-04-20T07:16:00.000-07:00

It has been a long week, full of gorgeous warm and sunny days here. There is more of the same forcasted for this week. It kind of caught me off guard but I am loving every minute of the time I can spend outdoors and getting the yards back in shape. It is not helping my state of denial that the inside of my house is a cluttered mess. I care, I want to care, but sometimes I don't care. Not a good attitude I have been harboring. ~sigh~ I am going to try and work on my attitude:)

I am looking forward to the grandkids today. Three hours alone with Hannah while Isaac is in preschool. I love our "alone" girlie time, it is so refreshing and fun. I don't have to think about inventions and plumbing with her. I love my time with Isaac too, don't get me wrong:) Our time together is fun and priceless, but keeps me going non stop. And since today is supposed to get in the 80's we are going to play with all things WATER!! Isaac will be in heaven as water is next in line only to breathing for him. It will be fun to see Hannah join in now that she is old enough to hold her own with her brother:) She is such an animated character with her smiles and joy! The brother-sister bond is growing stronger all the time too! I love it.

Stellan is in Boston facing surgery tomorrow. He needs our prayers and his mommy Jennifer too. Annabel is in the hospital but seems to be doing so much better and needs our prayers too. Kristy's baby girl is doing great and we need to pray she stays this way until her birthday into her mommy's arms.

I really appreciate those of you who visit me and let me know you are here. I don't have lots of excitement and interesting things going on all the time, so I appreciate your friendship so much. I hope you all have a wonderful day and the weather is good for you too.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

A Beautiful Monday in Ca.

2009-04-13T07:10:00.000-07:00

It is starting out to be another beautiful day here at the coast. The weekend was amazing and true spring weather. We had a wonderful Easter and enjoyed the wonderful weather relaxing and enjoying good company with family. Also getting caught up on some much needed yardwork. The birds are all over the place in the trees and chirp all day and feed in the feeders. I do believe that Spring has sprung here at last. Doves are mating and I can hear them all day long. We even have a pair of mating owls up in the pine tree that we hear at night. Our little forest at the coast here.:)

Not much happening in our neck of the woods but the grandkids will be here soon. We will be spending the day outside and enjoying the beautiful day and fresh air and taking some pictures. I haven't posted any in a while as they are still in my camera waiting to be downloaded. I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter celebrating with family and friends. And I hope your week is a good one too.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Sunny Saturday In So. California

2009-04-11T09:57:00.000-07:00

It is another beautiful sunny day and breezy. I think some yardwork is in order and that's what I am going to do. I spent Good Friday doing lots of soul searching and realizing how many times I had taken the day for granted in the past. Always an overcast and cloudy day, always. But yesterday the sun peaked out a few times for a moment during the day and got my attention. I felt the gratitude and thankfulness up close and personal and just spent the day reflecting on Gods Goodness, His gift I don't deserve, poured out for me and I am thankful, deep down in my soul thankful. Old hymns hummed in my head all day long. And I read other blogs messages and felt the same as they wrote. I am slowing down and not rushing past the cross to get to the resurrection this year. Without the cross, there would be nothing to celebrate and no resurrection. So today, I am going to do yardwork and reflect some more on His goodness and take my time. Tomorrow is Easter Sunday, and the Resurrection Day that changed the world forever. I will celebrate with family.

Most of you already know, but for those who don't, Kim had a baby girl on Thursday and she is perfect. Anna Grace Pearl is a "chunky" 8 lbs. and 19.5". I am so happy for them as they love on this new blessing to their family. An Easter Gift.

I am asking you to please continue praying for Kristy and her baby girl as they wait to meet her at the end of May. Her daddy is having so much fun painting a special nursery for his first little princess. I love it. She is going to rock his world!!

Stellan still needs our prayers and seems to be doing better, but not out of the woods. I have added a button (yes I know how now:) to pray for a very special little girl who needs lots of prayers for her and her mom. The blog is new so it is easy to catch up.

Another little baby boy needs our prayers too. His name is Noah and I haven't put his button up yet. He has many issues and will be born soon. I won't use the offending medical term but will say he needs a miracle.

Kathleen and her unborn baby girl with Trisomy needs our prayers. She is due very soon and needs compassionate doctors to help her baby.

And baby Michael Z. has passed one week now and is still fighting in the hospital. He has many issues too but his parents are holding on to God tightly as their little warrior continues to fight.

Lindsay Carlson is expecting her 4th baby, a girl. She is Caden's mommy who handed him back to the Lord moments after he was born last year. The baby is healthy and I am praying for their family to enjoy the blessings this baby will bring.

Before I started reading blogs, I knew there were babies leaving their mommys arms too soon, but not up close and personal as they are to me now. I will never understand Gods Plan but I believe with all my heart that His Plan is perfect, no matter what I think. So I will pray for these babies and His plans over their lives. Asking Him to be gentle with the families while He proves Himself to be faithful. Asking for Hope.

I hope all of you have a joyful day tomorrow as we celebrate the spectacular gift of God.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Prayers For Kim And Baby #4 Tomorrow

2009-04-08T13:20:00.000-07:00

Just a quick reminder that tomorrow, April 9th, Kim Summons will be having her baby and join me in praying for a wonderful delivery and joy in meeting who this little baby is. Pray for her heart as she balances all of the memories of sweet Mary Grace with the new joy of this baby who is still a surprise. Asking God to bless her and her family in a new and special way. I love her.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

A Day Of Heart Reflections To Journal

2009-04-07T18:26:00.000-07:00

I know I already did a long post this morning about my day yesterday and a few odds and ends. But then at 8:00 am, my brother came for a visit, and the mood changed.

David is my older brother by 2 1/2 years and we were always close. He let me tag along with him wherever he went and was my protector. I was "Toots" (pronounced like tootsie rolls) and his baby sister. I still am both of these things to him. Ten years ago he was diagnosed with Parkinsons and it has been rough for him. He was in a very reflective mood today and in the past three years since moving to Arizona, we have only seen eachother three times. There was a time over 30 years ago that he became very judgmental of me for my lack of relationship with my mother. He was very close with her, I was not for reasons stemming from my Dads actions. It got so painful and I could not be honest with him, that I just left the family so that my presence wouldn't upset him. I did it for the family as I was thought of as the black sheep. I had a secret to keep and it hurt to walk away. It was fourteen years later that my brother called me and wanted to talk. We met in a restaurant and spent the whole day talking about the past and what went wrong. It was a day of restoration for our relationship, one orchestrated by the Lord. It was like Easter, our relationship had been resurrected. It was a day of great joy to be accepted for who I was. I will never forget that day of forgiveness between us. As we talked today, his heart was so tender and he kept talking about that time when he let me walk away and continued blaming me for all those years. And his eyes kept tearing up and I felt so sorry for him still feeling guilty. Gosh, that was forgiven so long ago and I have never looked back except in gratitude. He talked about how the family said Corky and I would never make it when we got married at 19 years old and how his marriage and my younger brothers marriages were the ones that the family gave their blessing to. Fifteen years ago and within 5 months of eachother, their wives filed for divorce and their worlds fell apart. I was the one they came to and I did my best to help encourage them through. Tears fell down his face when he said that Corky and I were the ones that lasted and all for the right reasons. So many things were discussed today, his heart needed to relieve the pressure of the burden he was carrying. It was humbling for me to listen. I say all of this to remind myself that forgiveness is something that is for our benefit to let go of bitterness and resentment, not necessarily letting the offender off the hook. But today I realized that I needed to reassure my brother that when I forgave him, it was forgotten as far as the east is from the west. Then it hit me in my heart, this is what the Lord does for us, the same exact thing. He forgives our sins and never brings them up to our face to accuse us. We accuse ourselves. David still feels bad and it tears my heart up. I don't want him to carry a burden that is no longer there and I did my best to encourage him to let it go, it was no biggie to me. Long ago before forgiveness, I wanted him to feel bad as I had been made to feel bad. It was very immature of me back then and I get no pleasure in seeing him hurt now. I think when he left today, that he was more assured that all is really well with us. I know that this disease he has makes him feel very vulnerable and alone. I will be praying much harder for him from this day forward to feel the peace of the Lord. He loves the Lord with all his heart but today his human side was spilling over. We three are orphaned now, both parents gone for quite some time. I am okay with it but both brothers miss our mom deep in their hearts. I must remember to be tender to their feelings, while mine are on another page of life. I don't really expect anyone reading this to understand or get much out of it, I needed to journal it for myself to hear. Life is coming full circle once again for the three of us but I am so thankful my most painful time was in the beginning and not the end. Once again I am so thankful for the lessons I have learned through the storms. I am still learning to dance in the rain, but I am getting there day by day. This Easter, I am renewed in my thankfulness to the One who lived and died for me, and guides me through every storm. I am so thankful for His redemption and restoration. I don't want to think where I would be without Jesus. Not an option. Tonight I will go to sleep with extra tender prayers in my heart for my big brother, still one of my protectors. I love him dearly.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

The Simple Things In Life

2009-04-07T06:45:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was absolutely gorgeous. About 72 degrees and sunny blue skies, just like Spring is supposed to be:) The kids didn't get here until noon so after lunch, we spent the afternoon outside exploring all things nature. I love watching Hannah looking up at everything that is moving and sparkling. Of course, when you are only 30 inches tall, everything is up! She loves the birds chirping in the trees, the big black crows being smart mouths up in the pine tree. Huge flocks of seagulls fly right over our house from the beach to the dump that is about 5 miles away. This is their daily routine. Amos the cat follows Hannah everywhere she goes. They truly have a love affair going on. She points at every windchime and wants to hear them make music and gets the biggest smile on her face. Every rock and stone she picked up was a treasure to her. The simple things in life are found through the eyes of a child. Watching them explore is better than any movie I have seen. She is a girlie girl but is going to be one tough chick.! She has to be with her big brother leading the pack:)

Isaac spent the afternoon exploring everything that was "booby-trap" material out in the yards. He loves to go down the side of the house in the "bamboo forest" and collect the dead woody sticks and build gates to keep the wild animals out. The wild animal he is talking about is Jake, the dog. Good Luck. He gets so ticked off when the dog runs right over the trap and destroys it. "He is supposed to stop Grandma. It means keep out and he's not minding me! He's ruining my inventions!!" It is like watching two almost 4 year olds bickering. His mom had their annual easter egg dying party at their house yesterday before they came here. About 20 kids total and one of his buddies Jack, is totally into everything rescue and firefighting. He brought his walkie talkie toy and was getting into fire calls and getting Isaac involved in the rescues. Erin said they were having a blast until Isaac took the walkie talkie toy and started explaining to Jack how the thing was wired and how it worked when you unscrewed it and looked inside at the parts. She said that Jack stopped dead in his tracks and looked at Isaac like he was nutts. Poor kid, it's hard to find someone his age that shares the same technical desires he has buzzing around in his little head. He can't help it, this is how God wired him. He is not satisfied that things just work, he wants to know what it is that makes things work. I hope he uses this same enthusiasm to seek the Lord with all of his heart and plant deep roots of faith and knowledge. The simplicity of complication, that's my Isaac. He's my joy and my teacher. I love these kids so much it hurts sometimes.

Today is supposed to be another beautiful sunny day and my older brother is coming to visit today. He moved to Arizona about three years ago when his daughter moved there. We have lots of catching up to do and it should be fun. I am hoping the guys come to work on the tiles today, yesterday was a no show. I am looking forward to getting it done. My tax buddy called and we are getting money back this year! We usually break even on the federal and owe state taxes. We don't have any write offs so this is a pleasant surprise. I guess the 10% pay cut Corky took last year is coming back a little now. We want to buy a small used RV trailer so we can go with the kids when they go on get aways. Isaac calls theirs a motor home and is begging me and grandpa to buy one so we can all be together and have fun. He can "visit us in ours just like coming to our house." So many places right around us within an hours drive to get away. People are selling them really cheap right now and a "fixer-upper" would be great. More places to put my coke stuff:) A mini-museum on wheels:)
Isaac's term for it and he says he will help me fix it up! So hopefully, this is our plan for the near future. Plans can change but I hope this one will come true.

Well, I have been rambling all over the place long enough and I need to get a fresh pot of coffee on before my brother gets here. I hope you all have a great day and your weather is as good as mine will be.

Oh and thanks to Pam and Amanda, I now know how to copy and paste buttons to my blog. I about pulled my hair out yesterday trying and failing, but I now have two on my side bar. First picture posting help from all of you, and now buttons and links. What's next for this girl in Ca.? All of you are helping me with my fear of the unknown and I feel like I am learning to grow up on the internet with your help. Thanks so much!!

Love and Hugs, Laurie

The First Monday In April

2009-04-06T06:45:00.000-07:00

It is hard to believe it is April already and Easter is this coming Sunday. This year is just flying by it seems, yet standing still at the same time for some families that are on my heart this morning. Therefore, I have three or four prayer requests.

1. Baby Stellan is having such a rough time stabilizing in the hospital. Underneath the sweet picture of him on his blog is a delicate heart that needs God's healing touch today. Jessica, his mommy needs our prayers too. I can't imagine having a child sick like this. It breaks my heart for them.

2. Baby Michael Z is my newest Trisomy 18 buddy who was just born last week and has so many medical issues that need our immediate prayers. His blog is Above Mediocrity on my blog roll in my profile and his Daddy has posted pictures of him. He is the sweetest baby and beautiful in every way. They need our prayers big time. I don't know how to link blogs in my posts but you can find it in my profile.

3. A sweet lady named Kathleen is carrying a baby girl with Trisomy 18 and the doctors have told her that they will not be of much help when she is born. They have urged her to terminate. She is trusting the Lord to guide her but is getting such negative medical advice. All babies are a gift from God and have every right to the best chance at life. Just look at Annabel, Mallorie and Zoe B. for a reason to believe for these precious babies. God does not make mistakes, we do.

4. A dear friend of mine has a son who is struggling with drug addiction and needs our prayers for his deliverance. He has entered rehab again and prayers for the devils stronghold on him to be broken are needed now!. Please pray for a broken and willing heart for this young man. God is a God of miracles, able to heal him completely. Prayers for his wife and family are needed too.

5. Prayers for another perfect ultrasound for sweet Kristy and her perfect baby girl today. Sweet peace for Kristy's heart as God goes before her in that room.

6. Prayers for Kim as she will be having her baby in just a few days. She's one of my "girls" and I am asking God to bless the delivery and her family as they meet their new gift.

And of course Emily's Abigail Joy is just the most precious and healthy and beautiful baby girl. They are HOME, yes they are and I pray for her heart as she balances all of the emotions that are in it. Did I say that this baby is gorgeous?

Our weekend was a good one. The grandkids slept over Friday night and we had so much fun watching them buzzing around and staying up past their normal bedtimes:) We are grandparents and we get to do what we want here:) What a joy to hear them talking and laughing in the morning when they woke up. I don't know who loves it more, me or Grandpa! We love these kids so much and I hope they always remember the fun here as they grow up.

The old tile is coming down in the bathroom today, YAY!!! Messy, noisy, but all good. The new tile will go up this week, new fixtures, and new floor tiles will be done by Friday. It has been a long road but so worth it. Then I can get motivated to get going on spring cleaning and decluttering around here. I have tons to do and hope I can stay focused and motivated.

So, that's what has been going on over the past few days here. I hope you all had a good weekend and will have an even better week. Please remember my friends in prayer when you can. They are all special to me and so are all of you. Counting my blessings today, so many to be thankful for. I love you.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

All Over The Place Here On Friday

2009-04-03T06:15:00.000-07:00

It has been a good week since my last post. The plumbing is finished, the hole filled back in and cement poured. Just the tiles in the tub/shower need to be torn out and new put back up, and the new tile floor to be laid. This will happen next week and by Friday, I will be taking over and washing down the walls and putting my final touches on the "new and improved" bathroom. It has been a long project but so worth it. I am amazed at the patience I have learned along the way:)

The grandkids are doing a sleep over tonight and Corky and I are looking forward to it. Our chance to break the rules and let Hannah stay up longer and fall asleep in Grandpas arms, and Isaac gets to stay up late and fall asleep on the couch with us. They can sleep it off in the morning and wake up when they want. I love to watch them come through the door and head to their room to play while mommy and daddy are trying to get goodbye hugs and kisses:) This is their home away from home and we are so blessed to share it with them, the place where daddy grew up. I am so grateful that we only live 10 minutes away from eachother. They have never been watched by anyone else except us. Family, it is so precious a gift.

On the NEWS front, Emily had her baby Abigail Joy last night and she is perfect!! She weighed 7lbs.2ozs. and is 21 inches. She is adorable. I am so thankful for the blessings God has poured out on their family.

Kim is due to deliver her baby in one week. I didn't realize the time was so close. I believe Kim to be more private with her family, and doesn't post as frequent about the daily life in her home and I totally respect that. So prayers for her to have a beautiful and blessed delivery are asked for here today. The sex of the baby will be known when it gets here. I love surprise babies. My grandkids were both surprises.

Kristy's baby girl will be here around the end of May and prayers for her continue for a wonderful day of delivery too. Peace, joy and hope are my desire for her until she meets this baby girl face to face.

Kenzie is enjoying Faith Claire and the blessings she is bringing to their family. She is so adorable.

Chrissy is enjoying Dante at home and he is such a little slugger and so cute.

Angie's Adrienne is getting cuter day by day and bringing so much joy to their family too.

Karen's new baby boy she is carrying is a ways off yet but prayers for him are being asked for, that he continues to develop healthy and strong.

Praying for Yvette as she continues nurturing Torrey in her home and waiting to hear about adoption of this precious girl, if it is Gods will.

I sound like a Grandma here I know, but I am a Grandma and my heart can't help but reach out farther than my own family. These girls are family to me in spirit. I have taken them into my heart and they are here to stay. I think when my time here on earth is over and I enter heaven; I hope God lets me work in the nursery:) I can't imagine anything more fulfilling and since I will have a new body that does not get tired, it will be great!!

I hope that all of you reading here have a wonderful weekend and find treasures in everything around you. We have so much to be thankful for and God has given us His beauty everywhere, if we only look. I love you and please pray for my girls.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Praising God And Doing The Happy Dance!!!

2009-03-27T09:17:00.000-07:00

God is wonderful and has answered the prayers of so many hearts this morning for Kristy and baby girl. I hope she won't mind me posting here but I can't contain my JOY for one more minute. BABY GIRL BOLTE IS PERFECT!!! Yes, you read that right my friends, PERFECT!! And yes, I am shouting it out here in caps:) I am beyond thankful, I am doing the Happy Dance here and can't get the goosebumps to go down:)

"I called to the Lord in my distress, and I cried to my God for help. From His temple He heard my voice, and my cry to Him reached His ears." Psalms 16:6

"Along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them." Isaiah 42:16

What a blessing and a privilege to pray for others as if our life depended on it. In many ways it does. Prayer comes back full circle and I don't know who gets the bigger blessing out of it. It is just a Full Circle God Thing. Thank you all for praying with me. My spirit is floating this morning, light and fluffy and thankful.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Urgent Prayers Needed

2009-03-25T16:30:00.000-07:00

my charming kids

Stellan is in desperate need of our prayers. He is in the hospital and fighting for his life as he is in V Tach. He is only four months old and is so precious. Most of you know him from MCKMama's blog as he has become quite popular. Please pray for him and his family.

Another prayer request is for my dear friend Kristy who is expecting a precious baby girl after losing Isaac and Asher. The ultrasound was not as positive as Kristy would have liked it to be and she is so scared for the unknown. Most of you know her too but for those of you who don't, would you please pray for her heart to be calm as she waits to find out more. Kristy needs Gods assurance and hope that this baby girl will be alright. My heart aches for her and I wish there was more I could do for her.

I haven't been able to think of anything else the past two days except these two families and the prayers they need from us to lift them up. I would appreciate if you would join with me tonight in serious prayers.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Gorgeous Monday Morning

2009-03-23T09:52:00.000-07:00

After a cloudy and drizzly weekend, the sun is out this morning in all it's beauty. It will be in the low 70's all week and it really feels like Spring has come. Hannah is here and happy as can be. Isaac will be here after preschool. Both are feeling so much better and that makes me happy. Corky took a much needed week off work so it will be fun for the kids to have him home too. Fun for me too:)

Spring holds so much new life this year. Emily just had a perfect ultrasound and Abigail looks perfect and is perfect and will be here anytime.

Kristy has her ultrasound this afternoon and I am praying it all goes perfect for baby girl as I feel in my heart that it will. Soon this little girl will bless them face to face.

Karen has a baby boy blessing their family for the 4th time and praying for her next ultrasound to be perfect too.

And then Kim's baby should be blessing their family soon too! Baby Faith Claire is keeping Kenzie busy these days with much joy, and Baby Dante is basking at home in Chrissy's arms. Angie is blessed with Adrienne each and every day and Yvette is loving having Torrey to love in their family. What a difference one year has made from Spring last year to Spring this year. So much reflection and healing in between and continues to this day. God has taken and He is giving. I don't understand Him so much of the time but I know He is good all the time.

Zoe celebrated her one year birthday over the weekend, a day this little T-18 girl was not supposed to see. What a blessing she is. Annabel turned 4 and Mallorie is 2. Three very special little girls in my heart. Surviving and Thriving!! Not always easy but I see Gods hands on each little girl.

Baby Stellan at Mc Mamma's needs our prayers. He is back in the hospital with his little heart racing and needs healing. Praying for his family too. His condition is so very serious.

Many other families are now walking in the winter of their Spring, beginning the journey of grief that is so new and heartbreaking. Too many to list but all have my thoughts and prayers this Spring. I am always amazed how life goes on, the ups and downs for each of these families, the sorrows and joys. Watching God work in these lives with His grace and mercies. I continue learning in these journeys.

Lots of yardwork to do in the gardens this week and the weather is perfect for it. As I work, I will have all of you on my mind and talk to God about you. It serves two purposes at one time. I hope everyone of you have a wonderful Monday and find blessings all around you. You are blessings to me:)

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Something Sweet For Mermaid Hannah

2009-03-19T08:34:00.000-07:00

Look at what I found online at www.palmtreeprincess.com. I am pretty sure that it was my sweet friend Pam who bought a skirt for her niece in Michigan and when I saw it, I had to go check out this place. Thanks Pam!! I ordered it and it came in the mail yesterday. It is a size 2T so will be big for her right now but when I adjust it to fit her, I will take pictures. Such an indulgence to have a girly girl in the family after only boys!!

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Oh So Thankful Thursday

2009-03-19T07:47:00.000-07:00

First of all this morning, I want to thank you for your prayers yesterday. God heard them and started turning things around almost immediately. I may just have to ask for prayer more often before things get so crazy.:) I am beginning to see how this all works in a much clearer light that giving and receiving is a "full circle" flow of God's blessings. Corky and my son Eric had a meeting after work yesterday and it really eased a lot of pressure as far as their job security was concerned. They were excited as we talked last night and I had to tell them that my "blog girlfriends" were praying. Corky got a huge smile on his face and told me to tell you that "You Rock.!" He says he understands what I do here online a little bit better:)

The grandkids were here yesterday and came back last night for 3 hours. Grandpa was in heaven just rolling around on the floor with them and feeling his day melt away. It is as much therapy for him as it is for me.

The hole in the bathroom floor is starting to be filled in this morning and progress
is being made:) Corky took a week off work and is going up north tomorrow to deliver a piece of furniture to our friends in the redwoods. I won't be going this time around because I have the kids tomorrow and I need to be here for the workers, so I am asking if you would pray for safe travel for him, it is a 10 hour drive one way and he will be by himself. He will spend the night up there and come back home on Saturday.

I just want to thank you girls again for praying for us, it means so much to me. The results were almost instant and I hope that when I pray for you, God answers as quickly for you. It is not perfect sailing from here on out at all, but He has lifted the heavy cloud that was blocking the hope from shining in. I appreciate each and every one of you with all my heart and I love our heart to heart connection in Him. Have a wonderful day today. And if you need prayer, let me know here and I will be on it.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

This Is Me Tonight!!

2009-03-17T20:02:00.000-07:00

Trying To Get Back On Track Here

2009-03-17T19:05:00.000-07:00

Boy, have I been in a funk for the past week or two. Nothing urgent going on but lots of little things all adding up to a funky place to be in. I have been in my head a lot and it is non productive this time around. My husband and two sons are feeling the job stresses of the economy and I worry for them in between praying. Why is it so much easier for me to encourage others and fall so short on myself? It feels as if I don't practice what I preach at times. I guess I need a little encouragement from time to time myself, ya think?

I can't stand to watch the news anymore. It is too depressing or too stupid, depending on the subject. Economy or movie stars. Ten babies that I have prayed for this year have all died in the past two weeks. Six were in one family, their first pregnancy. How does anyone's heart handle this kind of heartbreak and devastation? I can't wrap my mind around it. At the same time, all I hear about here in California is the "Octumom" everywhere I go and since she lives only an hour away, it is local news. I am tired of her and I know she needs help big time. I feel sorry for her kids, all 14 of them.

Isaac has bronchitis and Hannah has had a sinus infection for the past week and I feel so bad for them. They are getting better now and I am thankful for this. We have been able to have a good time and be happy inspite of it. They are little troopers for sure. Just bundle them up and play outside where the germs can blow away.

Still working on the plumbing but everything is up and running. The cavern running under the house needs to be filled back in now and I feel sorry for the guys having to lug all that dirt back in and crawl under the house to pack it all back in before they can cement the huge hole and lay the new floor down. Isaac said he could make a suction blower machine to blow the dirt back in with a huge hose from the backyard where all the dirt is in mountain sized piles. If only he were older:) I just love that little guy to pieces. He is sunshine to my cloudy heart!!

A very dear friend of ours who has supplied us with collies for the past ten years died this month and her husband is just lost without her. They were married 10 years longer than Corky and me. She was a great lady and will be missed so much.

I don't have anything to really complain about so why am I complaining and letting the little things get to me? I guess it boils down to feeling very vulnerable with all that is going on around me. I don't question God and I never really have questioned Him. So I guess I question myself when these things happen and I sure don't have any answers to the things of this world. I know I could use a little encouragement to kick my sorry butt back into gear here soon and pull myself out of the "funk pit". I am looking forward to the grandkids coming tomorrow. The weather is supposed to be great all week and I am thankful for that. They LOVE playing outside and I love watching:) That's my plan for tomorrow.

If anyone reads this grumbling and still loves me inspite of it, thank you!!!

Love and Hugs, Laurie

~SPRING AHEAD TONIGHT~

2009-03-07T14:54:00.000-08:00

It is only 3:00pm right now but I am starting to turn clocks ahead as I have 31 of them in the house. Yes, that's right, 31. I have collected them over the years too, most of them coke ones and they are all up and running. By 8:00pm they will all be an hour ahead except for the one over the TV and the one that always gets forgotten somewhere. There are also five in the back yard garden and patio I will get to tomorrow. I like clocks:) I have never worn a watch in my life. But I do like to be able to look around wherever I am doing stuff during the day and keep track of time.

Today was beautiful. Sunny, in the 60's and a little bit breezy. Just enough breeze to get all the windchimes going and sounding so pretty and the smell of jasmine drifting all over the yards. All signs of Spring coming.

Yesterday was a great day with the kids. We made "Jello Jigglers" (I love this name that Lisa calls them). Isaac mixed it all together in the bowl and got excited when he added the "cement", the name he has for the Knox gelatin. Poured it in a huge roasting pan and let it set up in the fridge. We went outside and played for a few hours while it set up. It is so much fun to watch them use their imaginations outside and be so happy. And I don't have to do anything but watch and hold conversations with them. Isaac was blown away cutting up the jello into worms, shapes, and dicing tiny pieces, eating it as he went along. Such harmless fun. His birthday is in May and I told his mom that whatever theme he decided on, I would make a stained glass jello centerpiece to go along with it. What 4 year old wouldn't enjoy that? I can make all the jello colors ahead of time and have it ready to assemble in no time. And the best part of it all, I won't cut myself while I am doing it.:)

Well, I am rambling here so I think I will get back to the laundry and setting clocks ahead now. I hope you all are having a wonderful weekend and find some treasures along the way. They are out there, you just need to look for them.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Friday Flashback--Good bye "60" And Hello "61"

2009-03-06T05:29:00.000-08:00

Sixty One years ago today, I was born in a hospital in Los Angeles, Ca. I spent the first five years of my life in a small bungalow house on East 61st street in an area now known as Watts. Back in the day, the neighborhood was very diversified. My grandma lived in a little cottage three doors down, my Aunt Mary lived across the street. We had an Asian family across the street, Mexican family next door who made fresh tortillas every afternoon and invited me over to eat them fresh off the hot plate. Probably because I stood there drooling from the smell:) A Chinese family lived across the street and a Black family three doors down. I remember it being a lovely mix of people all living together on one small block of this world. I was free to walk in and out of each of these families houses and feel totally safe. I was exposed to so many different races and cultures and I am so thankful that to this day, I grew up knowing that all people are equal in Gods eyes. I was an independent and bold little toddler. I lived in my own little world of make believe and I liked everybody. I picked up stray kittens constantly, wanting to keep them all. I lived with a secret that no one knew and was liked by everyone. I climbed the big fig tree and got up on our roof with my older brother many times. The view from up there was great. Getting down was not as easy as getting up there.:) My ignorance of all things dangerous was bliss for me. So much changed as I grew older and yet, somehow, I am here this morning writing and thinking how grateful I am to have spent all of these years learning who I am in Him. And what He has given me in my life I would not trade for anything.

My grandkids will be here this morning in a few hours and we are going to make "finger jello". I was talking to Isaac about it when he was here Wednesday. He was telling me that his mom made jello and they tried to cut shapes out of it and it kept falling apart. Then, I remembered "finger jello". I made it for my boys all the time when they were his age. It's all about the Knox Gelatin!! I found the recipe in the back of my recipe box, thank God, because Isaac insisted we make it. So today, this is what we will be doing. He loves to help me bake and cook and he will be so stoked to see what we can do with it. It doesn't melt and feels just like gummy worms. It will be a fun day and it looks like the sun will be out today too. It's all good.

Have a wonderful day and a wonderful weekend. I plan to.:)

Love and Hugs, Laurie

I Love The Month Of March

2009-03-01T19:36:00.000-08:00

I don't really have much to say tonight except that I love that this is the first day of March, 2009. It was such a beautiful spring-like day today; sunny, warm in the 80's and I just feel so full of Hope. I am coming out of hibernation and I can feel it! Next Saturday night we turn the clocks ahead and I just love it. I love to have more daylight at the end of my day. Spring is right around the corner and will be here on the 20th. So many of my blogfriends are anxiously waiting for Spring and I know how they feel. There is just something about this season that renews my hope for myself and for others. New beginnings, new life, new dreams, and contentment. I am content in my life and I can truly say that I have more than I need. God has taught me that contentment is a condition of my heart. I have worked with His gentle leading on this for most of my life and I intend to continue until the day He calls me home. I have lived long enough to realize that every valley was a blessing and lessons learned in these valleys are my treasures. I did not like being in the valleys and drug my feet along the paths, but I am so grateful that He knew I needed to go through them. He knew I needed to learn how to hope without fear of something bad being right around the bend. Balance, He is teaching me balance. I still fear at times, but I am going to open my heart even wider this Spring and push past the fears of the unknown. The Lord has planted more hope in my heart for Spring and all that is to come. And Easter is coming too. What a blessing Easter is to all of us who love the Lord and put our trust in Him.

What are your hopes for Spring and what do you love about this season? I'd love to hear your thoughts. And if you have anything that needs prayer, let me know this too. I love you and hope you have a wonderful night.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

The Atlanta Girls: Eight Ladies Who Stole My Heart Last Year!!

2009-02-28T07:11:00.000-08:00

I thought it was time to introduce eight wonderful and amazing girls who stole my heart in 2008. If I do this right, the picture will appear at the top:) Let me tell you who is who from left to right, top to bottom.

1. Kim, mother of Mary Grace. 2. Emily, mother of Miller Grace. 3. Karen, mother of Jacob Ryan. 4. Yvette, mother of Tristan. 5. Kristy, mother of Isaac and Asher.
6. Angie, mother of Poppy Joy. 7. Kenzie, mother of Maddox. 8. Chrissy, mother of Eva Janette.

This picture was taken in Atlanta at a conference where the eight met and spent precious time together, sharing the pain of loss after handing their babies to Jesus. The pain was fresh for all eight when this picture was taken. They met Beth Moore, face to face, and she prayed over them and they all cried together. Such sacred ground they shared. The events of this time was shared on their individual blogs last year and they each shared beautifully and from their hearts. I love each and every one of these eight girls and call them "my girls."

On this last day of February, 2009, I wanted to give an update on my girls. It is so exciting to my heart to tell you now.
1. Kim is expecting a new baby who will be her 4th, sometime soon:)
2. Emily is expecting her 4th daughter, Abigail Joy who will be here in 7 weeks:)
3. Karen is the newest mom to announce that her 4th baby is due this year:)
4. Yvette is working on adoption of a beautiful baby girl in her care now:) Praying.
5. Kristy is expecting her 5th baby, a "girlie girl" who has 4 older brothers:)
6. Angie is enjoying raising her 3rd daughter Adrienne:)
7. Kenzie is raising sweet Faith Clare who was born last November:)
8. Chrissy gave birth to baby boy Coppo yesterday morning and he is perfect:)

My heart is so full for these girls. Following their heartbreak and sharing in their hope and joy has been a lesson in deeper faith for me, walking with them. I love them all so much. They have taught me the faithfulness of Our Lord in so many ways and I am eternally grateful. I feel like they are my daughters as they are younger than my sons. It is a heart to heart connection that only the Lord can birth. I am blessed by these moms and their babies who made such a difference in my life.

This Post, my Sweet Atlanta Eight, is dedicated to you, full of love and hope and the promise of God's goodness to you. I pray His richest blessings over each and every one of you today. May your joy be full. I love you.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Thanking God And Thanking You!

2009-02-25T05:20:00.000-08:00

I am so thankful for your prayers yesterday and thankful for Gods answers. Corky's eye appointment went well. After being dilated, anything bad was ruled out and the spots he's been seeing are just a case of eyes getting old. They were afraid of the retina possibly starting to detach but it is fine. His eyes ARE fine, just getting tired. We are both so relieved and thankful. I told him you were praying for him too and he said "but they don't even know me" and I said "Soooooo?":) "They know me." I am so thankful for all of you praying. Before I started this blog, I just visited others and prayed for them. To be on the receiving end is quite the blessing and so humbling. Connections of the Heart through our Lord, I just love it. He never stops amazing me.

I have the kids coming today and if the weather cooperates, we are going to spend time outside, working off the cabin fever the rain has brought in the past few weeks. I will take my coffee outside, pull up a chair, smell the jasmine floating in the air and watch JOY in action as two of the worlds finest kids play and enjoy life. It doesn't get too much better than this. I hope you all have a wonderful Wednesday and know that you are so loved and appreciated by me. You are my treasures too.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Please Pray For My Sweetie Today

2009-02-24T05:52:00.000-08:00

Would you please pray for Corky's eye doctors appointment this afternoon? Three years back he had implants in both of his eyes after being diagnosed as legally blind. The improvement to his vision was a miracle. He has been having "floating dots" for the past two weeks and he is truly afraid. He hardly ever expresses fear but our eyes are so important. I would really appreciate your prayers for him and for peace in his heart today. I will update after his appointment this afternoon at 3:15pm. Thank you guys so much for praying for my biggest treasure in my life here on earth:)

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Flashback Friday

2009-02-20T06:27:00.000-08:00

Click on picture for bigger view. This picture was taken at the beach in "1979". This my friends, is 30 years ago. Where has the time gone? The boys were 9 years old and we spent our days at the beach, since it is just down the cliffs from our house. The boys would be starting the 4th grade in the fall. (By the way, this picture was scanned into my computer and I haven't figured out how to manipulate size yet) As I remember, money was tight back then as I was a stay at home mom and hadn't started working in a stained glass shop yet. We had one car, a truck for Corky to go to work. We had been living here for 3 years. This June will mark the 33rd year here. The boys slept out in the backyard under the pine tree often in a make-shift tent and the dogs and cats kept watch all night long. Many sleepovers on the weekends with their friends here too. They spent hours upon hours on their bikes exploring the open spaces up here on the bluffs before all of the development took over. Year by year, lot by lot, their territory shrunk, but they had these years to adventure and I am so grateful for the "open spaces". Thirty three years has changed most of the area up here as beach houses are bought up, torn down, and huge houses replacing them have sprung up everywhere. Our house has remained a beach house as many others on the block have too. It is amazing to think that Corky and I were 27 years old when we moved in here. Now we are grandparents watching our precious grandkids play in the same yards and occupying the same bedroom their father and uncle did.

Thirty three years has gone by so fast. It seems like it was just yesterday. So much has changed yet so much has remained the same if this makes sense. This rented house holds our lifetime of memories except for the first 8 years of our marriage. If these walls could talk! They do talk to me these days as I look back. We have grown up together here and are still growing together in love through the fire and the good times. Through it all I am so grateful and blessed to be who I am today. When I look at that picture above, I realize I did not like myself as was the case for so many years. I ask myself why now, and I realize I compared myself to others and never measured up in my mind. Such a waste of time and talent. The Lord has showed me over the years that He wants me to love me for who He made me to be. That's a tough job but I have been learning to let go and let Him show me who I am and I can live with me:) Still working at it and learning after all these years. If I could offer up one word of advice to my younger sisters here, it would be to love yourself as God has made you, and don't compare yourself to others. It truly is such a waste of precious time. Time we can't get back this side of heaven. I love who each and everyone of you are, as much as I have gotten to know you, and I love you each just as God made you to be. No matter our ages, we are all sisters in the Lord who loves us. I feel like a big sister to so many of you too.

Have a wonderful Friday and leave me a flashback in the comments of something you remember and want to share. You know I love comments. They make my day SMILE:)

Love and Hugs, Laurie

4 x 4 Tagged On Friday

2009-02-20T05:57:00.000-08:00

Isaac doing the dishes at home. He is about 2 1/2 years old here.
I have been tagged by Kenzie, one of my "Great-Eight Atlanta Girls", so here goes.

1. Go to 4th folder where you store pictures.
2. Select 4th picture (no exceptions!)
3. Post the picture with an explanation and link it back to tagger.
4. Tag 4 people (or as many as you want) to do the same.

FYI: I will probably end up getting this upside down while posting the picture AND trying to put a caption in, so bare with me.:)

I am tagging: Dee Dee, Dawn, Pam, Amanda, Lisa (Ready Aim), Rachel, Linds, Donna and anyone else who wants to play.

Sunny Wednesday

2009-02-18T07:45:00.000-08:00

We are having a break in the weather after much needed rain, and it is going to be clear and sunny today. The guys are here working on the plumbing again and Isaac will be here in an hour. He will be so stoked to help out. Today will be a yardwork day again, trimming vines that have gotten wild. I have jasmine blooming all over the yards and they smell heavenly right now. Pure "nose candy" for sure. The grandkids will be glad to get outside and let loose too. They get cabin fever after a week or so.

One of the things I have realized over the years is that I am a vine finatic. I love them so much and have them planted all over the yards, front and back. But, if left unattended, they get wild and out of my control very fast. I am not good at pruning the vines, removing the old dead growth before the new sneaks up on me and starts to bloom. Jesus is such a perfect vine tender, always knowing the right time to prune me, so that the new doesn't get intertwined with the old (not too much anyway). It takes discipline to be a vine tender, something I am learning along the way, day by day. Maybe this is why I need vines in my life? To teach me. Just like my vines, I will always need pruning in my life; knowing the more of the old that gets cut away, the more room there is for the new growth to take hold.

Is there anything in your life being pruned away today, making room for new growth to take over? Share it with me here and if you need specific prayers, please leave them here and we can all encourage eachother in prayer. Have a wonderful Wednesday and know you are loved by me.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

The Past Few Days

2009-02-15T16:29:00.000-08:00

Thursday night the phone rang and it was my dear friend from Maryland, calling to let me know she was leaving LAX airport and heading down to the house. Gosh I was so thankful that the plumbing was hooked back up!!! We stayed up till midnight talking and it was so good to have her here. She slept in the grandkids room and said she felt like a princess:) I woke up at 4:00 am to get Corky off to work and headed for the coffee pot. We spent the day catching up on all that's been going on with her "spooty" husband and it was so hard on my heart to watch a marriage of 23 years disentegrate before my eyes and only be able to listen and try to encourage her. We talked and laughed about good times too and that felt good. She is just trying to work her way through the years of memories and figure out how to let go of her dreams. ~sigh~ Corky made us a roaring fire when he got home from work and we had homemade spaghetti and garlic bread for dinner and just talked some more. I hope we helped her in some way. She spent Friday night too and left on Saturday to go up to L.A. to visit her mother in law. This lady could still use our prayers for her heart.

I caught up on the last of the laundry Saturday and it felt so darned good to see the bottom of the clothes basket.:) Tomorrow the guys will be back to finish the work on the front bathroom pipes and test everything out before beginning to close the huge hole back up. I am so excited to get the new floor down, wash down the walls, get the new tiles in the tub and put it all back together. It shouldn't take more than a week or so. Corky is as happy as I am, especially that he didn't have to do this himself. Our valentine's present to each other. We spent the evening watching a movie and just being in each others company. Slept in until 6:30am and it felt like half the day was gone. At noon, the first NASCAR race of the season at Daytona was on. Woo Hoo!! I love NASCAR, it's my sport and Corky's too. It got rained out but it was good and fast!!

So, that wraps up the past few days and tomorrow I get my grandkids. I haven't seen them since Wednesday. This coming weekend they get to do a sleepover here while mom and dad go to Disneyland. This will be the first time for Hannah so it will be fun. I am going to be spending some time this coming week learning how to post captions under my pictures so they make more sense. So if you visit and see something one minute, and then it's not there anymore, it is just me getting it right.

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend and "Love Day." We didn't do anything out of the ordinary because we try to keep every day a love day here. I really love your visits and reading your comments. They make my day special.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Sharing A Few Closeups Of The Christmas Tree

2009-02-14T10:09:00.000-08:00

Sharing More Coke:)

2009-02-14T10:05:00.001-08:00

Sharing Coke And A Smile

2009-02-14T09:54:00.000-08:00

Okay, here we go on the Coke collection. Now remember that it is 40 something years of collecting
and did not happen over night. This is what my grandkids faces have expressed as their "eye candy" since they first entered grandmas house. This is the bigger stuff, the smaller stuff doesn't show up well. I took these so I could keep them in a seperate file documented so when I am no longer here, the kids will know what they have. These too will be more than one post so I hope I don't bore you:)

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Sharing Five More

2009-02-13T12:29:00.000-08:00

Third post of pictures.

More Love

2009-02-13T12:21:00.000-08:00

The last picture of Isaac on the previous post is his "serious face" with ten grapes stuffed in his cheeks. Here are some more.

Sharing Some Love Today

2009-02-13T12:06:00.000-08:00

Okay, I will try to remember how to load five pictures at one time and see how it goes. My pictures are not the best quality but the kiddos show up just fine. I still don't know how to caption each one so it's just pictures.

Little Man In The Hole

2009-02-12T19:05:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to share a couple pictures of what's going on around here and a dream come true for Isaac. He's been dying to get in here and we finally got a few pictures. I just sent them to his mom and I am glad I won't be able to see the look on her face:) Hey, this is what this boy absolutely gets off on.

I finally figured out to download my camera with my chip into my HP printer. Wow, so easy I can hardly stand it. So, tomorrow I will be posting pictures all over the place from before Christmas up to now. I will be caught up before I know it here if you can bare with me.

Have a wonderful night and I will be back tomorrow.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Thankful Thursday Throne and the Queen

2009-02-12T14:03:00.000-08:00

Just came back here in between "loads of laundry"and before I shower AND wash my hair, that the Queen has her throne back!!! Everything hooked up, brand new and working. Working perfectly.
Oh what a Valentines Day gift this is. No more "camping out". No rain today, sunny and breezy, windchimes (all thirty something) of them making music in the wind, and this girl is happy!!:) Just like Isaac, I just love new plumbing. The rest is getting done next week, fill back in the huge hole, new tile on the floor, new tile in the tub/shower and a few cosmetic touches to the walls. Life is good here at the beach!!

I hope your day was as wonderful in some way to you as it has been to me.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Thankful Thursday

2009-02-12T08:05:00.000-08:00

As I sit here and type, the bathroom pipes are starting to be hooked back up, one pipe and one joint at a time. It is music to my ears. If all goes well, I will be showering in the morning, able to wash my hair, catch up on the laundry and do some throne sitting.:) I'm feeling like an "almost" princess.:)

The grandkids were fun yesterday even though they both were under the weather a little. Hannah has her four molars bulging and coming in at the same time. She would chew on my car bumper if it would fit in her mouth. Poor girlie. When she was down for her nap, Isaac and I did some yardwork cutting back vines and plants. He is such a great help and walks around saying "we do great teamwork gramma". Well, before I knew it, he shrieked and I thought he got hurt. Nope, he screached through alligator tears that we smashed a "walking stick". At first I didn't realize what he was talking about and told him it was only a dead twig. "NO GRAMMA, it's a "walking stick"!!
Looking closer, I saw it was one of those bugs that looked exactly like a twig with legs and things.
"We killed it gramma!" Please Lord, make it move when I poke it gently. Two of its legs moved and I showed Isaac that it was indeed alive. I think it's rear end was flattened a little but it was moving. Still crying, he was laughing and yelling "IT'S ALIVE, WE DIDN'T KILL IT, IT'S ALIVE"!! You could hear him for blocks. We picked it up gently and put it on a plant where it could be safe and have a new home. Sheesh. This kid and his bugs. If it was dead, we would have had to hold a funeral right on the spot. As of this morning, the "walking stick" is enjoying it's new habitat and has walked around a lot. What a day! He tends to get very emotional when he doesn't feel so good. It breaks my heart to see him cry, his eyes are so danged sky blue and intense with tears. From now on we will gently tread when doing the yardwork. Having the kiddos here really puts me in touch with childhood feelings I had that I never could express because my childhood was not normal. I locked everything up inside. So, when I comfort them, I am comforting myself at the same time. Healing, it is such a strange and amazing journey. In my case, it will go on for a life time, but it is all good. Free therapy provided by the cutest kids in town.

And, on another note, guess who is on FACEBOOK? Yep, me. As if I don't spend enough time on blogs:) I was invited by a friend at Corky's work who is my age. I thought, "what the heck". No one will find me there. Ha!! Seven of my blog buddies have found and invited me. My "adopted since birth" neighbor sisters who are in their 20's now, have found me, their girlfriend in Romania who I just love, and a few others. Not being a girl of few words, I need to remember that the messages are short and sweet. It's not a blog. I have a hard time being short and to the point. ~sigh~ I still believe in spelling my words out and correctly, not abbrieviating :) At least I get an email when someone comments as I forget to check on the site. How many grandmas do you suppose are on Facebook? You now know of one.

Okay, I am done for now and going back to being serenaded by the sounds of my pipes being replaced and hooked up. Oh, it is a great Thursday and I am so thankful. Our "camping trip" is coming to a close. This HAS taught me a few things about "Third World" countries and how this is normal life for so many less fortunate than I am. Thank God I don't have to do clothes their way too. I have accumulated about eight full loads. We are ALL so blessed for the lives we lead, no matter the trials that come along. Life is Good because Jesus is in it!!

Have a wonderful day and if you feel like it, let me know what you are grateful for today. I love comments and prayer requests.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Full Moon And A Full Heart

2009-02-10T06:11:00.000-08:00

Last night after turning the lights out to go to bed, it looked like the patio light had been left on. I stepped outside and the most incredible full moon was glowing so bright. The rain clouds were clearing and it was heavenly to just look up into the dark sky and see the light and stars. Truly a God moment and my heart was full. He is my light in the dark nights of life.

I had such a great day with the grandkids yesterday. Hannah's personality is developing at warp speed and she just makes my heart laugh. I had forgotten how much you can teach little ones just by playing. First time around I was just busy 24/7 chasing after twins running in opposite directions and worrying about every little thing being perfect, which it never was. Now it is such a pleasure to play and teach. I follow Hannah's attention span as she goes from legos to dolls to stuffed animals and her stroller. We work on colors and counting of each thing and she loves it. We practice putting toys away and she loves to help. She's starting to talk and she is calling me mamaw. It is so much fun to have a little girlie girl around. I just love this little Bug!!

Isaac got here after preschool at lunch time with a bag full of valentine goodies from their party yesterday. He only goes once a week. He made me a valentine and when I told him I loved it, he got the sweetest smile and said "I love you gramma." Melt my heart. Then in a bag, he had a big valentine with his handprints in paint on the big red heart. Inside was a message to parents from their child pre-printed like an award. I melted over the handprints and told him how his daddy and uncle Eric used to make those for me and I have them all saved in a special box. He said "I want you to have THIS one gramma" with a big smile on his face and his big blue eyes sparkling up at me. I told him that THIS one was for his mommy and daddy because it had a message to parents. He looked at me and said "you are a parent too gramma". Yep, you are right my smart boy!! This boy just melts my heart to puddles every time I look at him. His little heart is so huge with love. We did painting up at the counter all afternoon while Hannah took her nap. They love it when Corky gets home early just to see them. He gets Hannah out of her crib and she just hugs him tight. He melts. He just loves having a girlie in his life. He has always felt that the first baby we lost was a girl. Though we will never know, his heart feels sure. So this little bug has stole his heart big time. After playing with her for a while, he takes Isaac out to the workshop in the garage to check out tubes and wires and tools. Manly Stuff and more man to boy bonding time.:) He scored one of grandpas old magnets yesterday and can't wait to start collecting treasures on the ground that will stick to it, pure magic!! It is such a blessing to have one of each grandkid to enjoy. They are so unique and different, and each one can be our favorite boy or girl. We will have a problem if a third baby comes. You never know. I don't ask:) We are both still in awe of how deeper the respect and love is from our grandkids. It is a whole new level of life and we are just loving it to pieces. I love seeing the LOVE OF MY LIFE being a grandpa. Oh, he's so good at it and it melts my heart with love even more for this man God gave to me.

The plumbing is still in progress. The hole in the main bathroom floor is now 4' x 6' x 4'deep. Yikes. It is burrowed from the bathroom to under the kitchen floor in front of the sink. The pipes have all fallen off in pieces as the clay is dug away. No bathtub or toilets or sinks can be used right now until they can hit a good spot on the old main pipe to weld to. I can still use water but have to catch it in a bucket. Microwave hot water in a bowl for washing up in the morning. Ah yeah, camping out at its best, and it has rained off and on all week. It is a race against time now. My girlfriend with the spooty husband will arrive on the 12th , and my niece from Michigan called and will be out on the 19th with her two kids and wants to arrange a playdate for the kiddos. Where will they potty? Laundry is backing up and sponge baths are really getting old. However, this house is OLD and when this is done, the plumbing will work wonders again. I can hardly wait! Thank God I am a low maintenance girl, seriously. Isaac checks out the progress each time he gets here and says to me "I can fix the pipes for you gramma, my plumbing books show how to do it". If only! He wants to get down in the hole and explore, NOPE. We are making memories here:) Not the kind I really want him to savor, but then again, IT'S PLUMBING!! And Corky and I aren't your typical grandparents. ~sigh~ Nothing normal about us.

If you are still with me here, I hope you all have a wonderful Tuesday and remember to find things to be grateful for in the mundane of every day life. They are there if you look in the right places. I love you guys for visiting me, no matter what I post. My life really is all over the place on any given day. And I am okay with it!!

Love and Hugs, Laurie

A Quick Post For Prayer

2009-02-08T16:56:00.000-08:00

Please pray for Benji and Rebekah as their precious daughter Gracie was born stillborn on Friday February 6th. They were expecting complications of Trisomy, but she came early and I don't think anyone's heart is really ever prepared to lose a child. She is a beautiful baby and they shared pictures on their blog The Benjamites on my blog roll if you wish to leave a word of encouragement. My heart is heavy for them as they begin this journey so many others have walked and continue to walk. I will do a post in the morning. Hope everyone of you had a great weekend.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

My Birth Into The World Of Blogging

2009-02-05T05:55:00.000-08:00

Three years ago, my son set me up with my first computer here. I know, I am a late bloomer. Everything was new and came with all the bells and whistles, doing everything but serving me my morning coffee. For the first year, I used it to keep my checking account posted, and reconcile each month and know exactly where I was at. This was enough for me. Then someone who saw my coke collection asked if I had ever been on ebay. I was scared to venture out on the internet up until that time. Too many horror stories of smutt and debt. Then I found ebay and what a trip!!

Two years ago this May 4th, a horrible traffic accident happened five miles from here and in an instant, a tractor-trailer rig ran over a family van, killing three babies under the age of 4 within moments. Three babies air lifted to three different trauma centers, the mother and grandmother taken to another hospital, and a father called out of a company office party with the news. He frantically tried to be in four separate places at one time as he kept getting calls telling him another child had just died, all three gone in under three hours, and having to tell his wife who was injured and in another hospital. They were together when the oldest, who had just turned four the day before, died in their arms. Hell On Earth. This was the Coble family of Ladera Ranch. It was all over the news everywhere. The chaplain Roger set up a website for people to leave comments and encouragement. Communities came together like never before and it was amazing. As I visited the website, I read comments and found one that led me to Elliot Mooneys video and story. A beautiful baby boy who lived for 99 days, diagnosed with Trisomy 18. I discovered if I clicked on the commenters name, it took me places. It was there that I found Mandy-Madaline Grace's mommy, then Boothe Farley- Copeland's mommy, Emily- Miller Graces mommy, Angie-Poppy Joy's mommy, Karen- Jacobs mommy, Yvette-Tristans mommy, Kim-Mary Graces mommy, Kenzie-Maddox's mommy, Christy-Eva Janettes mommy,
Kristy-Isaac and Ashers mommy, and the list goes on and on. I have always loved babies, always, and my heart just broke for all of these mommies as I prayed for each one as they waited to meet their little treasures. I prayed for them to have more days than Elliot, and I felt as if each one of these were my grandbabies. My first grandson Isaac, was only a year old at the time and it hit me hard. God gave me a burden for Trisomy babies and all babies who were born and left in a moment of time. And I have Annabel and Mallorie, who are living with this diagnosis and amazing me to trust God more and more. They are my warrior princesses and I love them.

My blogging experience has branched out during this time of being a commenter only, but my heart is still for the babies. I was too chicken to start my own blog, who wants to read about a grandma and her adorable grandkids? Or read about some boring ramblings of someone who tends to be all over the place like I am. (I see my ratings going down at times:). But I was coaxed into starting my blog and I am glad I did. I have made many wonderful ladies here and some have lost their husbands, older children, some are very ill and in need of healing, and some are grandmas like me, younger mommies raising their families, and it is all good to be a part of a sisterhood of women. In the world, women tend to pull eachother apart, but here, we all come together to encourage and lift up in prayer to the One and Only Lord that we all serve. It is refreshing to be sisters with all ages. I love it.

I welcome any questions any time and I am pretty much an open book. I have shared a condensed version of my life here, but there is so much more between the lines of what I have shared. The purpose of my life is to share what I have learned in the struggles with others. I have seen many miracles in my almost 61 years of life and God has showed me many personal things that make me smile, because they were just between Him and Me. He is so personal with each one of us where we are and I am so thankful for this. I will have to share some of these moments with you as time goes on. He has taught me that miracles are everywhere and usually the biggest ones come in the smallest packages. Just me breathing this morning is a miracle:)

I hope you all have a wonderful day and remember that my comments are always an open forum. You can talk about anything here whether it goes with the post or not. No structure on this site to speak of.:)

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Copy/Paste? I Can't Get The Hang Of It!!!

2009-02-03T05:44:00.000-08:00

The last two posts were my feeble attempt at copying Katie's button to my blog. I just can't get it down, no matter how I try. But they are both here in "my form". Katie is Brenham's mommy and she is doing something very special to celebrate his one year birthday in heaven. If you are creative with crafts of any kind, hop on over and see what she is planning and read her story. It is amazing what God brought them through last year and what He continues to do now.

I will post more later, but I just wanted to explain the last two entries.:) Have a blessed Tuesday.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Helping A Friend

2009-02-02T18:57:00.000-08:00

When Hello Means Good-Bye: want to help me?

2009-02-02T18:54:00.000-08:00

When Hello Means Good-Bye: want to help me?

Monday Morning P.S.

2009-02-02T08:27:00.000-08:00

I forgot to mention that for all you Steeler's Fans, congratulations on your win yesterday. I am not a football fan but realize so many of you are. My condolences to the Cardinals Fans. I am a NASCAR junkie so this month is my month when the races are back on. I love me some NASCAR, and best of all, I GET IT!!!

Okay, on with my day.:)

New Month, New Choices, New Outlook

2009-02-02T07:49:00.000-08:00

It was a really good weekend around here as the new month is here. Friday was great because I got to hang with Hannah and just do girl stuff. She is so much fun and her personality is developing at warp speed. Isaac was at MOPS with his mom and we have discovered that we all stay well if we keep Hannah out of the nursery at church. She has the run of the house except for the rooms with the doors closed. She is such a breath of sunshine.

Saturday and Sunday were "veg" days here. It's the first weekend that Corky has not had to work and so we watched movies, ate popcorn, napped, makes us sound "old". He just deserves days of doing nothing to catch back up on life. We slept in until 6:30 am both mornings. That's late for us since we are up at 4:00 am during the week. The weather was beautiful, in the 70's and sunny and breezy at times. Life was good this weekend.

I am waiting for Hannah to come this morning while Isaac goes to preschool. The guys are coming to continue working on the plumbing. The hole in the bathroom is huge enough to bury a full grown adult, if someone was inclined to do this. They are burrowing under to try to avoid digging a hole in the kitchen floor. It is going slow but steady. Our ground is solid clay, the kind they built adobe buildings out of that are still standing to this day like the Mission in San Juan Capistrano that is 15 minutes away. When it is done, I will get a new bathroom floor and tiles around the bathtub that are falling down. I am a patient girl and it will all be worth it when it is finished.

I am making new choices this month to try and let go and let God handle what I cannot, as much as possible. It is a learning process for this "control" girl, who really controls nothing! Life is too good to let a few things kick my butt. I am so thankful that God is patient with me and knows me so intimately.

When I was saying goodbye to Corky this morning outside in the dark, we could really hear the ocean pounding at the bottom of the cliffs. It was beautiful and I am thankful to live so close to one of His huge wonders that stretches for as far as the eye can see. My outlook is full of HOPE.

I hope you all have a wonderful day in this new month and remember that we have so much to be thankful for. I will post more pictures as soon as I teach myself to unload them from my camera into the computer. How hard can it be, right??:)

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Where Has January 2009 Gone?

2009-01-29T08:50:00.000-08:00

Is it just me, or has January disappeared like a flash? Two more days and it will be February. The New Year waits for no one. I took the last few days to try and practice one of my life verses, "Be still and know that I am God." It is very exhausting for me to be still and not try to fix the things that I cannot fix. I wonder if I will ever learn this lesson. I really appreciate the prayers and the concern, I know it has helped a lot this past week.

My back yard was covered in pine needles and leaves and branches. Had been for over two months and so we got out over the weekend and tackled it with full force. It is amazing how much better I felt when I could see the ground again and feel I fixed something.

Having the grandkids this week was great too, as always. They lift my spirits so much and bring me joy. Corky is no longer working 7 days a week now and that is really great too. I missed him being here to just play together on the weekends, but understand that work was really demanding his time over the past two months. I am just so very thankful that he has a job and it is going well.

I am thankful to have realized over this past month that many 1st birthdays of babies gone to heaven this time last year have been bearable for their sweet families. These precious babies will always have their footprints on our hearts and never be forgotten. Many of these families are now expecting new life and I continue to pray for the health of these new babies. As reports come in, they are good reports of healthy babies. My heart is so thankful for this. God is so good. Until these moms hold these new babies in their arms, our prayers are needed for their peace and trust.

Baby Gracie needs our prayers still. Her reports are fragile with the diagnosis of Trisomy and her parents hearts are so heavy. Prayers for them are asked today. And for Maxsons parents, Dylans parents, Ruby Mae's parents, who are just a month or so into the journey of losing these precious babies. They need tender loving prayers.

My sweet friends Stephanie, Laura, Bettsie, and Nita who are still dealing with the loss of their husbands need our prayers. Nita needs extra prayer for recovering from colon surgery she just had that has left her with a permanent colostomy bag. I am so thankful she is still with us. My sweet friend Kelli who is pressing forward with hemo while waiting on a kidney to extend her quality of life she so deserves.

Yes, it is a new year, and almost February, but so many needs and issues have followed us into this year also. I know that God is faithful to keep His promise to never leave us, and I am holding Him to His promise for all needs.

I hope everyone has a wonderful day and remember the things that make us thankful. And thank you again for your continued prayers. They are still needed to fix what I cannot fix:) Only God can.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Prayers and Encouragement Needed Today

2009-01-24T11:12:00.000-08:00

I need prayer and encouragement today and would really appreciate it. I can't go into details here as I do not feel comfortable. I had a post up early and deleted it so if you saw it and now it is gone, that's why. But I truly covet your prayers for guidance and wisdom today.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

What We Did At Grandmas House

2009-01-22T09:12:00.000-08:00

I know this is my second post of the day, but I have some catching up to do before I fall behind. Yesterday was great with the grandkids, as usual. I had Hannah here for 3 1/2 hours before Isaac arrived after checking out his new preschool he will be attending two days a week in the fall. I just love watching this little girl and the way she plays, so different from her brother. She's a little Bit on a mission around here. We skip her morning nap now so she is worn out for her afternoon one.
She is trying to say grandma and it is so cute. She gives so many hugs and kisses(wet slobbery ones) and smiles all the time.

After lunch and putting her down for her nap, Isaac's mission was to disassemble an old 1988 computer keyboard that grandpa found along with the controls for the pac man game. I know, ancient!! He is so good with tools, the kind the jewelers use, and some regular ones, depending on the screw size. After two solid hours of concentration and all things "computer" exposed, I asked him if he was satisfied on a job well done and he said "yeah, and gramma, this computer must have been made in China." Cracked me up and sure enough on the inside of the circut board was stamped "made in Hong Kong 1988. Holy cow, the thing was almost 21 years old! We have come a long ways. We just had the greatest conversation while he was working so hard, I was just there for support and company. He tells me I am the best company for him and it melts my heart. I love these kids to the moon and back, I have to tell you.

On another note here today, my plumbing is getting fixed. I love the sound of a jack hammer ripping through 4 inches of concrete to get to the problem. Everything has been working EXCEPT the two toilets. YES, and for quite some time now. It has not been bad unless we have company, then we have some explaining to do. Think camping portable pottys. I know, too much information but the truth. This is a very old house and the trees have grown to gigantic proportions over the 32 years of living here. So, two long time friends of my younger brother are here to save the day. They need the work, I need my throne. It's all good. And I don't mind the mess because I haven't cleaned for Christmas 08 yet. I knew there was a reason:)

Since it is Thursday, I thought I would list a few things I am thankful for today. This house that we have rented for 32 years with great landlords, being only two blocks from the Pacific Ocean, our health, Corky and his job that enables us to live a content life and share the excess with others in need, two grown and married sons that I am so proud of, two wonderful grandkids, the Lord in all of our lives, all my other family and the wonderful people I have met and continue to meet here. There is so much more, but these top my list. Tell me what you are most thankful for today.

I hope each and every one of you have a wonderful day and are blessed by the Lord who makes it all possible for us. I never forget to pray for the needs I know that you have. Asking the Lord to meet each and every need.

Love and Many Hugs, Laurie

"Thank You-Thank You" Accepting Award #1

2009-01-22T05:49:00.000-08:00

I received my very first award on my blog last week from my new and wonderful friend Pam over at Country Mouse-City Mouse. I love this girl and we have become fast friends. If all goes well, the picture will appear above when I get this done and if I do it right. Note to myself: Think backwards.

HONEST SCRAP AWARD
[ Honorees are to list 10 honest things about themselves-and make it interesting, even if we have to dig deep! Second, we are to pass the award on to 7 bloggers we feel embody the spirit of the Honest Scrap.]

1. I am a very insecure person and it has caused me to seek acceptance of others all of my life and
I work on this day by day.
2. Added to #1 above, I have always had a distorted and not so good self image but am learning
to see myself as God sees me, not easy but doable day by day.
3. I love people and especially children. I make friends easily and can be very comfortable in a
crowd. I know, it doesn't make sense to me either. I get lost in kids and they make my heart
soar with joy. I feel like one when I am with them. God teaches me the most about myself
when I am with kids. They always accept me as I am and I am honored to earn their trust.
4. This one is hard. If you know about me, it may make sense. I did not cry when my father
and my mother died, 21 years apart. It makes me feel dead inside to admit this here. And to
to be totally honest, I have not cried for over 10 years. My heart cries for others grief, but no
tears.
5. I am an animal lover. I have had so many cats and dogs in my lifetime. I am partial to cats
because of their fierce independence. They do what they want at all times. I have never
without at least one cat, ever. I picked up strays and brought them home. I could not keep
them but I tried.
6. When I was four years old, my mom had a box with my momma cat and her four kittens set
out for the animal shelter to pick up. I opened the box and the momma ran out. I took the
four kittens and hid with them in the shed out back in an empty refrigerator and I shut the
door. Dumb. All five of us sat in there for almost two hours while hearing my mom call for
me. When I couldn't open the door, I got scared and finally called out.
7. I can't swim, but I love to be around water. I love the sight of it, the sound of waves crashing,
the smell of the ocean salt air, I have five water fountains in my yards. Not that this matters
but I am a Pisces. So is my sister in law, both daughter in laws, my brothers second wife and
two of my girlfriends. Water, hmmm.:)
8. I am a control freak and it is so hard for me to let go and let God work in my life on me. I am
learning with each new thing that comes up that I won't win, only postpone the inevitable
that He has a better plan for me. ~sigh~ I should know by now don't you think?
9. In my married life of 40 years, I have gotten up at roughly 4:00 am to get my honey off to
work. I believe in this, for me. It is not an option to not be up with him. I may cuddle up in
my fuzzy blanket on the couch after he leaves, but I appreciate him so much for being such a
wonderful provider without complaint. He does not expect it, but I know it starts his day on
a good note.
10. Last of all, I do not "twitter" because I do not own a cell phone:) So, if anyone has invited
me to "twitter" with you and I said yes, I didn't know it required a cell phone. Does this
make me outdated? Heck, I am just getting the hang of blogging and posting pictures.

I am passing this award on to: Dawn, Karen in Apple Valley, Kristy in Oregon, Rachel Davis,
Connie, Cathy and Dee Dee.

Another "Not" Wordless Wednesday

2009-01-21T06:51:00.000-08:00

It has been a few days since I have been here and thought I'd better check in. Dawn asked me if I was tired from picture posting:) Good excuse, but not the case. My brain has just been on "spin cycle" for a few days. It has a mind of it's own.

I have received two awards from my sweet new friend Pam and I will get them on here soon. They require some "thought" and as soon as my brain returns, I will do them. I am not sure if I write the stuff first and then upload the award, (so that they are in the right order) so if anyone wants to enlighten me, go for it in the comments. I just don't want the award at the bottom of the post. sigh.

I have the grandkids today so I am just going to post a few prayer requests and catch up on more later this evening or tomorrow.

1. Kelli is having surgery today and needs our prayers. She is at Living in Grace and waiting for a kidney transplant. I just love this girl so much. Her situation is DIRE.

2. A baby to be born soon named Gracie. I just found out about her and she has medical issues that may be Trisomy and some other things. Prayers for her parents and for her would be such a blessing.

3. My friend Nita had surgery and is in a lot of pain and her daughter may need to have her spleen removed this weekend. They need love and prayer.

4. My girlfriend with the "Spooty Husband" continues to work through what to do about the situation. She's coming to visit next month and I want to be open to the Lord using me.

5. Continued healing for my Nieces mom who just had breast cancer surgery Monday. It went well for her and they are waiting on biopsy results to go forward with radiation and possibly chemo.

I know I am forgetting someone here but the Lord knows and He is good. Oh yeah, for me too. I need to make an appointment for my yearly mammogram and they always make me nervous until I get the results. Self confidence gets bruised when cancer has visited. I am 12 years out and still free and thankful. I just want to get this behind me.:)

Okay, I love you guys and I will be back here soon. I just can't get on here with the grandkids here, it makes me feel guilty. I would appreciate your prayers on the requests above. Blessings to you all today.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Thursday Part 3

2009-01-15T07:52:00.000-08:00

I guess my quota on uploading is 5 pictures and I will not complain one bit!!! I'll just keep doing this until I am satisfied. More pictures, same story as Part 2.

Laurie

Thursday Part 2

2009-01-15T07:32:00.000-08:00

I goofed and got two of the same pictures last post. One was supposed to be a view from the park so I will post it here. Other ones here are from the holidays 2007. I haven't uploaded my camera for this past holiday yet. Some of these will begin to show you my "coke addiction" and a few of them are more recent ones again. I hope you guys can hang in here with me. I am learning at your expense and will eventually get organized.

If you are new here or are just getting caught up, don't forget to scroll down for all the other pictures.

Laurie

Okay Thursday And More Pictures

2009-01-15T07:16:00.000-08:00

Well, I feel that yesterday was a success for me and so I am going to post some more pictures today. Keep in mind that these will still be all over the place as I go back through pictures, not in order, but to give a taste of a few of us. One will be of me and my sissy at my nieces reception in the backyard garden, I am the shorter one on the right. One of Stephanie and her husband, Corky and me. One of the view from the park where the wedding was 3 blocks from here, yes that is the Pacific Ocean. And one of Corky and Stephanie. I say this all here because I have to learn how to post captions under pictures. Trust Me, I WILL LEARN. With your help of course. Let me know how in comments, I think I am a pretty quick learner for almost being 61. So, here goes again.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Success And A Partially Fried Brain

2009-01-14T17:54:00.000-08:00

Okay my sweet friends, I owe you big time for all of your help here. I took bits and pieces of advice from all of you and a bit from my son at the curb this morning, and I think I am safe to say I am on my way. I love you girls, I really do. And Pam, you are welcome to come anyway, really:) I would love to meet you face to face and everyone else too. You would have to bring the kids too!

I feel like I am joining the ranks of the rest of you guys one little step at a time. Next, I need to learn how to caption with each picture so they make sense without losing everything in the process like I did today.

The kids were amazing today and in such good moods. I had so much fun with them. I hope you don't get tired of hearing about them but I love them to pieces. Thank you again for helping me through and there are plenty more to come. I am going to go put my jammies on now and keep Corky company until we both fall asleep around 8:00.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Wedding Pictures That Did Not Make The Post

2009-01-14T14:34:00.000-08:00

Trying again.

Trying For Four Or Five In A Row

2009-01-14T14:07:00.000-08:00

Wow, okay. Can I tell you that I'm feelin' the photos? I am going to try and post four of five of my niece Stephanie's wedding we did here at the park and our house almost five years ago. The reception was in our backyard for 80 people, sit down dinner and very cozy. I made the wedding cake, homemade cheesecakes, and my sissy and I decorated them with fresh flowers from the garden. We did the flowers, all decorating, and cooked too. Stephanie's wedding cost her a whole $2000.00. Pretty good huh? Debt free and married:) Okay, here goes posting pictures.

Going For Three In A Row Now

2009-01-14T12:20:00.000-08:00

I am going to try and get three up in one post. The kiddos are here but I told Isaac that I am making him famous, so he is being patient with me. Bad Gramma, I know.

Trying A Few More

2009-01-14T08:48:00.001-08:00

More Testing

2009-01-14T08:10:00.000-08:00

I am going to get the hang of this if it is the last thing I do before this day is out!!! This is for my benefit in learning and the pictures will be all over the place, not in order of age or anything. So, here we go again, ~sigh~

Still Testing

2009-01-14T07:50:00.000-08:00

2009-01-14T07:14:00.001-08:00

One Picture Success And Now A Standstill?

2009-01-14T05:42:00.000-08:00

Okay, as you can see, I got one picture successfully posted. Yay for me!! So now I am trying to do a new post and add more pictures. I click on the picture icon and it doesn't go anywhere, nada. What am I doing wrong here? Do I need to start a new post to add pictures. I use Blogger and any advice is welcome. Also, when I am browsing and choosing a picture, do I have to do it one at a time or can I highlight like two or three and then add them? Remember that I am a newbee to this and really want to share with you. Thank you guys so much!

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Just Testing...1-2-3

2009-01-14T05:33:00.000-08:00

Prayers Needed For Noah And Julie Roberts

2009-01-13T07:40:00.001-08:00

Prayers are needed for these sweet parents this morning as their precious daughter, Magdalena went to be with Jesus. She is a very special little girl with Trisomy 18 who blessed her family with 167 wonderful and uncertain days. Their blog is O love that will not let me go on my blogroll. I can't imagine how their hearts are breaking right now. They need all the encouragement they can get today and in the days ahead.

Love and Hug your kids today, Laurie

I Love Mondays And Sunshine

2009-01-13T06:14:00.000-08:00

Mondays get a bad rap for many reasons and for many people. I love them. Mom drops off Hannah between 8:30 and 9:00 in the morning before she takes Isaac to Mommy and Me preschool. I meet them at the curb to get Hannah, so that the car does not have to be turned off. Isaac always greets me with "Gramma, I won't be here this morning." I know, you have school right? "Yeah andI will be here at lunch Gramma so wait for me okay?"

This is my 3 hours uninterrupted with Hannah where I can just give her all of my attention without guilt. I love it. She used to get in a morning nap before Isaac gets here. The past two weeks have been changing as she sits in her crib singing to her animals and dolls. When I open the door, she gives me a look and lays back down, like she is going to nap. As soon as I close the door, she is right back at it. It is a waste of my alone time with her anyway so I am going to skip the morning nap and just let her take the afternoon one. I feed her lunch before her brother gets here, they play together for bit before she goes down. This gives me two hours alone time with Isaac. It works for me and I am the Boss here!

We have a third time passed down bathtub and rubber ducky sesame street toy that has been getting tired. I took it apart in the morning to see if it needed batteries. Nope, there is a music box inside. So I put it back together with the 8 screws I took out. Isaac saw the toy sitting on the counter with the SCREWDRIVER sitting next to it. Busted Gramma. He knew I had been working on it and had to ask what I did. I told him and he said "Show Me Gramma". Lunch first before work, and he jammed through his lunch in record time. For the next two hours, seriously, he removed the screws one at a time as he chanted to himself "righty-tighty, lefty-loosy until Bingo!! The insides of the mechanism revealed. His eyes lit up and we went over all the inner workings, (a ton of parts) and I thought he would be satisfied. Nope, he wants to see what's inside the inside parts. He removed another 12 to 15 screws, one at a time as he talked about how each part worked with the others. Before doing this however, we agreed that if we were going to dissect this, we were not going to worry about putting it all back together right? "Right Gramma, we are just going to see what makes it work." Okkaaayyy. Every part that would come apart, came apart. Arms, legs, ducky, Bert or Ernie, I forget who it is. Everything apart.
He even took the strike plate off that makes the music when the little nubs on the barrel hit them. I was only the Helper, he did all the work. And I was amazed to watch his little hands go to town on this so delicately. He absolutely amazes me for a 3 1/2 year old. We ooohed and aaawed over each part, springs, screws and levers, and I thought "this is it, he is satisfied. We have done well." WRONG. He now wants to put it back together. I remind him of our previous agreement. He says it will be a "challenge". WHAT?? I told him I don't remember how we took it apart, oh well. He says he remembers!!! "I'll teach you Gramma." It is about 1/4th of the way done by the time Grandpa walks in the door. Grandpa checks it out as Isaac explains it to him and he just looks at me with that twinkle in his eye and says "that's my grandson." Grandpa goes in the bedroom and takes off his boots and collects his granddaughter who is now awake and comes back into the dining room. He is working long and hard hours right now, but makes sure to get home by 3:00 on Mondays and Wednesdays to see his kiddos. I love this man. He can have the worst day at work, but when he gets home and sees these kids, the day melts away.

He usually tells Isaac to pick up and put away all his stuff before mom picks him up. The look on Isaacs face when he told him he could leave all the parts on the counter until he is back on Wednesday to keep working on it, the look was sheer Priceless!! We took the kids out on the front lawn and just let them run around and enjoy the beautiful afternoon and warm fresh air. Amos the fat cat follows Hannah everywhere and she just loves him. He makes her follow him and hides from her under the bushes. Such a good wind-down for my brain that has been entrenched in springs, screws and parts for the past two hours. And I thank God as I sit outside and watch life, our life, in the moment. My heart is full. Mom pulls up at the driveway and is so happy to see the kids. Do they notice that she is here? Yes they do, and run the other way:) They do not want the fun to end. Grandpa and I promise them that we will pick up where we left off on Wednesday and Isaac is good with that. Hannah is not and whales while mom puts her in the car. Life is good. I hope mom enjoys knowing her kids are safe at Grammas while she works, half as much as I enjoy having them here and not in daycare. Corky works hard so I can be a stay at home gramma, just as he did when I was a stay at home mom. Not everyone has the priveledge of doing this, but I am so thankful that we do. We are growing old together day by day, for as long as the Lord has planned for us. I do not take this for granted and savor every moment. Life is good and so is God.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Growing Old Together

2009-01-10T06:06:00.000-08:00

This should probably be more of a Valentines Day post, but it is happening now, so I will write about it now. Falling in love is easy, staying in love is a lifetime process. What lies in between will either make or break a marriage.

I truly have the most wonderful, the best and most kind-hearted husband in the world. Is he perfect? No. Neither am I. Does he make mistakes? Sure. So do I. Are we who we were when we got married 40 years ago, hmmm NO. We are better than I could ever imagine. Neither one of us has ever attended college, yet we have a Masters Degree in the School of Life. We are both 60 now and have only 17 years that we did not spend together growing up. Our love runs deep. I dislike that the term "Soul Mate" has been run into the ground and diluted. WE ARE SOUL MATES in the Lord.

My Honey Bear works harder than anyone I know. His work ethics are impeccable and he has always been this way. Right now, he has been working 6 to 7 days a week, 12 hour days to bring several jobs in by their deadlines. The company he works for is owned and run by Christians. He has earned a place of respect and high esteem and does not take it for granted. We are so blessed for this job that is going forward when the economy is going backwards. And we have more than we need. I thank God every single day for His provision.

When he got home last night he plopped himself in the chair next to mine in the office here and we just started chatting. He told me how his day went and asked me about mine. He said he had three things on his mind and they were important to his heart. He wants to take out a life insurance policy so that I am taken care of in the event of something happening to him. He wants to make a Living Will so that things are in order. He wants us to take better care of our health because he wants to "grow old together". I knew where he was coming from but could not resist telling him that this is what we have been doing for the past 43 years. He gave me "the smile" that brings the twinkle to his eyes and melts my heart. We laughed when we thought about it and asked each other where the time has gone and how did we get here. We talked about the "what lies between" falling in love and staying in love. It amazed us how we could openly talk about the "in between" times that used to cause such searing pain, and now just brings a smile to our hearts. An honest to God and forgiving smile to our hearts. Our Soul Mate smile that is born over and over again out of forgiveness and hanging in no matter what. We have learned from our mistakes and will keep learning from them as they come and go, and we know this in our hearts. We ARE growing older together and it is such a comfortable place to be.

Anyone who has read my post of 12/30/07 knows a little part of our pasts and some of the odds stacked against us. It does not work out for everyone but I am so thankful to say it has for us. If anyone asks me what it takes to keep a marriage going for 40 years and still be in love, I say that acceptance and forgiveness with the Lord in the middle is what I have learned and am still learning. There is no magic bullet and I am thankful. I wasn't thankful in going through the trials but in hind sight, I am more than thankful for the lessons learned in the 17 years before and the 43 years after. I will do my best to be thankful for the ones that are still ahead. God has always and will always be faithful to bring us through. Our marriage gets better each time we remember to not try and change eachother but to help eachother through our changes. This has been a long process but so rewarding in getting us to today. I know that someday when we get old, we will still be together:)

We have a few "road trips" we are hoping to take when these jobs are completed. We are looking forward to them and getting away for a bit. We both agree that after three or four days, we start missing the grandkids too much. So, long weekends are the plan.

So tell me, how long have/had you been married and what is/was your secret? Share it here because I really think we can learn from eachother. My sweet friends who have lost their husbands are encouraged to share too. We never know what tomorrow brings, only what we know today. We all need the wisdom shared by our "sisters".

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Wordless Wednesday Bummer Part 2

2009-01-07T15:56:00.000-08:00

My girlfriend from Maryland called this morning on Skype, and we talked and talked. We talked about the holidays, about her father dying and her mother taking it horribly. We talked about the girls and how they are both excelling in college. We talked about my grandkids whom she has not yet met, we talked around the elephant in the room until she said He didn't come home for Christmas because his mom out here in California was doing so poorly with her health. She gave him the "benefit of the doubt" and said she didn't really believe him but put up a good front because she didn't want the girls to be hurt. Then...she asked if he managed to make it down to see us. WHAM!!! I was cornered at last and had to take a deep breath and quick prayer. I had to tell her the truth and it hurt to do it, and I knew I couldn't lie to her. His whole family lied to her when she called them for the holidays. No One mentioned the "girl". She's had a feeling in her heart that this has been going on over the past two years but didn't want to admit it to herself. Her youngest daughter went to visit him last spring and the "girl" was there. She thought she was the maid. My girlfriend Thanked Me for telling her the truth since no one else had the decency to be honest with her. She said she thought she was going crazy these past two years and covering for him with the girls so that they could have a good relationship with their dad. He doesn't even call or email them and yet my girlfriend has told them that he is just so busy with work to provide the nice house and college education. She said she feels so stupid, I told her she had way too much class and compassion to ever feel that way. She is a strong and wonderful lady who does not deserve to be treated this way. She said the love has been gone for the past two years but thought giving him his space would possibly bring them back together in time. She says it won't happen now, and she is glad to know the truth. Right now, I feel like the gum stuck on the bottom of someones shoe. She said she's relieved to finally know the truth. I feel like I stuck a dagger in her heart.
She kept thanking me through her tears. This sucks, and I love her and the girls, and this sucks.
She said she is going to tell the girls and it breaks her heart to hurt them. I told her that they probably have been as confused as she has been and already feel it in their hearts. They are smart and strong young ladies, like their mom. They are 18 and 22 years old, capable of making their own decisions. And they will. And they love their mom fiercly. They will be alright. Secrets are destructive and hurt worse than the truth. Don't mess with a womans heart, we have a sixth sense that God has given us that cannot be denied. For me, losing one "friend" out of four is a small price to pay if it helps her as much as I know deep down it does. It just feels so stinking rotten in my heart. I need to take a shower and wash off all the discomfort I feel for being a part of this mess. I pray I did the right thing; she did not need more lies, not from me anyway.

What a year this has been so far. I had a feeling that it would be this way and I hope the sun comes out and shines soon. It was out today but I did not feel it. Perhaps tomorrow.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Not A Wordless Wednesday Today

2009-01-07T13:09:00.000-08:00

I will post the Happy Post first. I will wait to post the other one after the grandkids go home tonight. The 50"s Diner by Step 2 I ordered online from Toys R Us arrived yesterday and Corky and I had so much fun putting it all together last night so the kids could play with it today. It is so darned cute and they absolutely love it. And they are sharing and having so much fun and I am loving watching them play with it. It is such good therapy for my heart right now. And I need it.

Two precious little boys I have been praying for on the Caringbridge website have died this week.
The first one was a two year old little guy who had been battling childhood cancer for over a year and his name is Dante. He made it through the holidays and earned his wings yesterday morning.
He was so small and the cancer was huge. The second little guy was Coleman and he just turned five in December. He battled with his cancer for over 2 1/2 years of his short life. He is a twin, and his brother Caden has been his biggest fan and most compassionate little helper. They were inseperable and I just can't imagine how hard this is hitting him. This is so close to my heart because I remember when my twin sons were little, they too had a bond that most people don't understand. I don't understand how these little ones must deal with surgeries, chemo, radiation, cat scans, and all the other mess that goes with this dreaded disease. Coleman was the most spirit filled little christian warrior I have ever met. His faith and trust in God during his battle was amazing and he was wiser than his age. He prayed the most precious prayers and never got mad at God. Jesus says we are to have this kind of faith, the faith of a little child. Boy, do I have a lot to learn still. My heart breaks for both of these families and the pain that lies ahead on this journey. They left the old year behind and face the beginning of the new year with such heartbreak. I just can't even imagine. Prayed them through the new year and will continue to for a very long time.

I feel so blessed watching my grandkids have so much fun today, and feel so guilty in my blessing as I watch these families suffer the unthinkable. So, my prediction of the new year is coming to pass, a new year from one day to the next, and continued prayers for people who enter this yeaar with broken hearts. It just does not seem fair at all. I know it is not God's fault, but it sure does suck big time.

My other post later will be about my conversation with my friend in Maryland (not Maine) who called me this morning. I knew the call was coming, and it did. See, no wordless Wednesday for me today. Hug your kids and people you love extra today, we never know what tomorrow holds.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

A New Year and Old Dust Bunnys

2009-01-02T06:46:00.000-08:00

Nothing like the morning sun shining through the windows on a New Year to expose the dust bunnys that were born in 2008 and still remain. I'd love to say that I had a hard time letting them go, but they are a reminder of the cleaning I did not get done for the holidays. And as Isaac pointed them out to me I told him, "yeah, look at them. I am okay with them". And with his cute smile he looked at me and said" yeah gramma, we are okay with them!" And our new year started with a humble acceptance of all things not perfect:) I do plan to get rid of them this year, but without the urgency that made me procrastinate last year! It will be a treat to me when I indulge on it.

No resolutions this year to speak of. I just want to be more honest with myself and my walk, and continue to be a blessing to others if I can be. I want to be more ernest in my prayers, and honest with my heart. When I say I pray for others, it is not in a closet on bended knees, candles burning and silence. I pray (talk to the Lord) all day long as I do what I do. He is always listening and I am always chatting with Him in my mind and heart. He is quicker than the internet:) And I know He hears me. And I hear Him. We have an "Open Line" to eachother at all times and I love that. It keeps my mind from wandering to the things that might otherwise distract and "iritate me":) (USUALLY) I am working on me all the time. I don't have a religion, I have a RELATIONSHIP with the ONE who loves me unconditionally. I have no secrets with the Lord, He knows me inside and out. I am not the "Church Lady," (SNL) but I am Laurie in Ca. And He holds me accountable to myself, and to my family and to you. I just want to be the best "me" that I can be with His help. That's it!! And I want to be a blessing to you and others who find their way here.

Oh yeah, and learn how to post pictures here so I can share my crazy life of collecting and grandkiddos and animals and all things me. You all post such great pictures and I want to be able to do the same. I am not keeping it a secret here, I just don't know how to do it yet. I am amazed I got a blog up and running (by accident and fooling around), and with a bit of loving pushes from my friends.:) Any and all advice is welcome here in this department. The quicker I learn, the sooner you will see.

On The Nightstand...

2008-12-31T14:28:00.000-08:00

I have been tagged by DeeDee from Come Taste And See, on this, the last day of 2008. My first tag ever on my less than one month old blog. Okay, here goes.

The Rules!!
* Grab the NEAREST book.
* Open the book to page 56.
* Find the FIFTH sentence.
* Post the text of the next two to five sentences in your blog along with these instructions.
* Don't dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one; pick the CLOSEST.
* Tag five other people to do the same.

MY BOOK: Copeland Fair

Page 56: "I know you all are praying fiercely and I continue to ask you to lift us up. I pray constantly that the Lord would stir in your hearts and remind you of Copeland, which I know He is faithful to do. God has pressed upon my heart that if I will pray specifically, He will be quick to hear and answer. Before the last post, as I wept over her outside, I prayed He would fill her lungs with oxygen and cause her to breathe by whatever means necessary-I asked Him to make her cry. When we came inside, she was bundled, resting peacefully in my arms, and suddenly started screaming. [ I know He responded immediately to my prayers. I know He heard my words and mercifully answered the ache in this mother's heart. "] (This is a post on her blog dated Sunday, September 23, 2007 at 8:00 pm.) This book is right beside me at all times on my computer desk, and 25 inches closer than my Bible.

I could not leave the last two sentences out, it would not be right. This book was written by a dear friend I met here and had the honor of praying for her sweet daughter Copeland Fair, born with Trisomy 18. Boothe blogged her daily ups and downs as her baby fought like a princess warrior with the Lords help from her birth into her mommy and daddys arms on September 18 until the day she went to Jesus' arms, September 26, 2007. Boothe wrote a precious book and took the posts right from her blog she kept updated moment by moment. It was a truly spiritual and emotional time for them and for all of us who followed. I found myself holding my breath for those eight wonderful and heartbreaking days. My faith was stretched, I questioned God, I begged Him for a miracle healing, and I begged Him to keep her parents hearts protected from shattering. And I cried as my heart broke when I read of her passing on to heaven. I know that heaven is a wonderful place of no more tears, healing, freedom, sitting at Jesus' feet. And I look forward to being there when my days are over here on earth. But my heart broke for the ones who were left with empty arms and wanting their baby back!

I have witnessed this over and over as have prayed for so many babies whose lives were cut short here on this earth and are in heaven now. And I never get tired of walking along side of these families in prayer and encouragement; it is what I need to do and it is all I can do. The rest is up to God and His Plan, and I trust Him. It doesn't stop the hurting and it doesn't stop me from knowing He performs miracles every day, and I pray for the best each time. And I have witnessed His miracles.

Well I guess my "Tag" has kind of turned into my post for this New Years Eve. I have the grandkids doing a sleepover tonight so it will be fun. Tomorrow is the first day of a new year, and life goes on and people are still hurting and need prayer. I don't make resolutions, but I know I will continue to do what I do and pray for my friends. And of course live life to the fullest and continue to be grateful for all that I am blessed with. Blessings to you tonight and in the new year ahead. YOU are LOVED by ME.

Love and Many Hugs, Laurie

Oh, I almost forgot to tag five people. Kelli, Pam, Kristy in Oregon, Kristy Bolte, and Rachel. Anyone else is more than welcome to join in too. Some people don't like to be tagged and it's okay. I am new with my blog so I am game!

Okay, Bye!!

Share A Chunk Of My Heart And A Smile With Me

2008-12-30T05:55:00.000-08:00

First of all, I am so grateful for the prayers my last post brought to me. Thank you guys so much. It is humbling to be on the receiving end in this blogging world. I have always been blessed by praying for you over this past year and a half. The Lord has done great things in my life and I have been blessed by the desire He put in my heart to "pray it forward". And it is my honor to do so.

This said, and being today is the next to last day of 2008, and the year of my blog:), I thought it time to share a part of who Laurie in Ca. is, who she was, and a bit of what makes me tick. But I won't write it here to save some time. I don't know how to copy/paste either, so I will send you where I shared it in 2007. If you click on Especially Heather in my blogs I follow, go to her Archives of 7-7-07, my brief story is #61 in her comments. I am taking this risk because I feel it is important to let you know that my God is faithful, keeps His Word, and is able to pull us through anything life can throw at us. The desires and burdens He has given me for you, come not from walking the same road of situations you have experienced, but the pain is familiar to me. The One Who brings us through our pain is the same yesterday, today, and forever. My heart is bonded to yours through shared pain and overcoming that pain with Him, Jesus. So, if you choose to go there and read about me, please realize that it is a part of my past that makes me who I am today. It is a part of my testimony here on earth. I can honestly say with all my heart that I would not change one thing. And I am not finished yet; the best is yet to come. I believe it is already here but God keeps amazing me and blessing me through my life and through you. So, if you want to know more about me, go there, and come back here:) Then we can begin the New Year with no secrets between us. I don't like secrets unless they are in love and respect.

Yesterday was a really good and healing day for me. Isaac and Hannah helped me take down the tree and it was so fun. I usually snap into auto pilot and just get it done. Yesterday was new and great and made many sweet memories in my heart. God gives us children to remind us to keep it simple, honest and full of love. I had it all yesterday and my heart is pretty much back on track. Thank you again for your prayers, they worked and my babies were the icing on the cake.

Have a blessed day and be a blessing to someone today who needs it. I can't think of one person who doesn't need it.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Prayers Needed For This Hipocrate Please.

2008-12-28T08:15:00.000-08:00

I am so disappointed with myself this morning and I am ashamed of myself big time. My "dark side" surfaced last night and has me feeling pretty small this morning. I watched my forgiveness and compassion fly out the door and I did nothing to stop it.

Our friends who have been married for twenty years have traveled the world with their work and always stop by every other Christmas holiday when they visit with their family. I love them and their two daughters who are 18 and 22 years old. The mom and two girls have been living in Maine for the past two years as He has been working in Viet Nam. He has only been home two times to see them during this time. The family has been hurt by this and I've spoken with the wife many times over this time trying to encourage her to hang in there. Then last night, he shows up at our door with his new girlfriend he has been living with in Viet Nam these past two years. She looked to be about 25 years old and really shy and quiet. They visited in the kitchen and I stayed in the living room glued to the movie we were watching when they arrived. I shut down, did not want to be in my own home during this time. I went to my self-righteous and judgmental dark side and stayed there, really uncomfortable. I really had felt this dark side was far behind me over the years of working on it. It only took it a minute to return with full force. I am ashamed of me. I thought I was more grown up than that. I am not. Adultry offends me to my core, always has and always will. I know that I will be speaking to his wife before the year is out and what will I say to her when she asks if I saw him? I have a front row seat to distruction of a marriage and I loathe being here. I know that there is a reason for this but so far, the only thing I see is that I blew it. And I am not proud of myself at all. I know I am rambling here but I need to be honest with God and myself, and with you. And I need your prayers for my heart that feels really dark and not at peace right now. I know it is not over and I need Gods grace to help me with what is to come.

I am looking forward to Isaac and Hannah being here tomorrow. Life is joyful and simple when they are here and I can protect them from the world and it's hurts. They make my heart feel right. Right now my heart feels wrong and I am disappointed with myself. I am so thankful that Corky loves me and understands me, and the Lord too. I just don't get me right now.

Have a wonderful wind down from the holidays and be blessed today. Your prayers and comments would really be uplifting to this weary heart today.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Merry ChristmasTo All Who Visit Here

2008-12-25T11:17:00.000-08:00

It is a beautiful Christmas morning here in So. California. Chilly, cloudy, showers, sun peeking in and out. The fireplace is crackling with my Christmas fire and it is quiet here for now. It works out perfect as our sons celebrate Christmas Eve with their wives families, and Christmas morning at their own homes with their kids. We have Christmas dinner in the late afternoon here. When the boys were little, we used to spend every holiday on the road traveling to Los Angeles for my side of the family, and San Diego for Corkys side. We never woke up Christmas morning in our own home. I made a promise to myself that my sons families would not have to do this. And it works!!

We had Isaac and Hannah all day yesterday so that Dad could put together Isaacs new work station at home before they went from here to their Christmas Eve at the grandparents. Both of the grandkids got one of their presents and Hannah's was the delux Fisher Price Stroller (which had to be assembled) by grandpa. This little one year old squirt was pulling things out of the box left and right and taking off with parts. She was not patient while grandpa put it together. When it was finally done, she took off through the house like a "Mad Mother" on wheels from room to room with the biggest smile on her cute face. It was priceless to see her "roar".!! She insisted the baby ride head first no matter how many times we turned it around. She was not happy when she had to take her nap either. Isaac got a set of walkie talkies he's been wanting. He kept inventing some out of the unused baby monitors but of course they never worked. Now we can "contact" eachother no matter where we are in the house or out in the back yard. So now I have to keep my walkie talkie on me at all times when he's here. I don't have a cell phone but I have a walkie talkie. Being grandparents is sooo much fun.

The kids will be here by noon so mom and dad can take in a movie. It should be a fun day and a great evening dinner. I hope you all have a wonderful day with family and celebrate the One who made this day so special. Happy Birthday Jesus!! It is because of you that we have the most wonderful future to look forward to. Thank You.

Love and Hugs and Holiday Blessings,
Laurie

Share a Coke and a Smile

Monday Morning and a quick catch up...

Another week has flown by and I need to run faster to keep up.....

A One Room Schoolhouse, A Fog Horn and A Flood Of Memories...

There Is No Restoration Like God's Restoration....

Another Month Has Flown By............

~Happy Birthday Blessings Today ~

It Is Now March And Spring Is Right Around The Corner.

Last Day of September and Moving Along Just Fine:)

Pruning My Gardens as God Prunes Me...

August Out--September In--And Jimmy On My Mind...

First Week Of July Over..............

Another Month Just Flew By.............

Monday And A New Week Ahead...

Almost Six Months Have Flown By...

Alive And Coming Back Soon!

I Am Still Here: Just Weeding A Few Things Out

A Few Thoughts On This Tuesday

Pleading For Prayers Tonight My Friends

June Is Here Already And May Is Gone

It's Wednesday And I Am Happy

Monday Morning And May Is Half Over

~~*HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOSH AND ERIC*~~

~~*HAPPY MOTHERS DAY*~~ To All Of You

Friday Trip Down Memory Lane Part 4

Thursday Trip Down Memory Lane Part 3

Tuesday's Trip Down Memory Lane Part 2

First Monday In May And A Trip Down Memory Lane

The First Saturday In May

Sharing A Bit Of Spring Around Here

Sharing A Little Touch Of Cuteness-Miss Hannah

Monday Again And Absolutely Gorgeous Weather

A Beautiful Monday in Ca.

Sunny Saturday In So. California

Prayers For Kim And Baby #4 Tomorrow

A Day Of Heart Reflections To Journal

The Simple Things In Life

The First Monday In April

All Over The Place Here On Friday

Praising God And Doing The Happy Dance!!!

Urgent Prayers Needed

Gorgeous Monday Morning

Something Sweet For Mermaid Hannah

Oh So Thankful Thursday

This Is Me Tonight!!

Trying To Get Back On Track Here

**~SPRING AHEAD TONIGHT~**

Friday Flashback--Good bye "60" And Hello "61"

I Love The Month Of March

The Atlanta Girls: Eight Ladies Who Stole My Heart Last Year!!

Thanking God And Thanking You!

Please Pray For My Sweetie Today

Flashback Friday

4 x 4 Tagged On Friday

Sunny Wednesday

The Past Few Days

Sharing A Few Closeups Of The Christmas Tree

Sharing More Coke:)

Sharing Coke And A Smile

Sharing Five More

More Love

Sharing Some Love Today

Little Man In The Hole

Thankful Thursday Throne and the Queen

Thankful Thursday

Full Moon And A Full Heart

A Quick Post For Prayer

My Birth Into The World Of Blogging

Copy/Paste? I Can't Get The Hang Of It!!!

Helping A Friend

When Hello Means Good-Bye: want to help me?

Monday Morning P.S.

New Month, New Choices, New Outlook

Where Has January 2009 Gone?

Prayers and Encouragement Needed Today

What We Did At Grandmas House

"Thank You-Thank You" Accepting Award #1

Another "Not" Wordless Wednesday

Thursday Part 3

Thursday Part 2

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOSH AND ERIC

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY To All Of You

~SPRING AHEAD TONIGHT~