Wednesday, May 20, 2009

It's Wednesday And I Am Happy

My tile guy showed up this morning and is working on getting things finished here. I am so glad, I was starting to feel whiney and I don't like to be around me when I whine.

The grandkids will be here in an hour and it will be another outside day of play. Hannah went to MOPS last Friday and came down with another cold. Ugh. This happens every time they go and I told their mom to just leave them with me, that way none of us will get sick. The fresh air will do her good today.

I can't wait to get the work done here so I can make my physical exam appt, mammogram appt, and get to the dentist. I have a raging tooth and am on antibiotics to calm it right now but I need to get it taken care of along with three or four others. I don't have strong teeth and they have taken a beating over the years. I don't smile because I am embarrassed. And I am a person who just loves to smile. ~sigh~ So, this will be my summer agenda.

I have been blessed this month by receiving three emails from mommies who have lost their babies, who found me on other blogs I visit. I am always reminded of God's goodness when this happens because I know it is Him who makes this happen. To be asked to pray for someone who I don't know personally is such an honor. I know that prayer works and God hears. I got an email from a father of a girl who I have been visiting who lost her full term baby to still birth. It is heartbreaking. He wrote to thank me for encouraging his daughter and hoped that in this "cyber world" that I was sincere. What a blessing for this girl to have such a loving and caring father!!
I wrote him back and told him that I truly did care and he could visit here to find out about me. I just love his heart for his daughter.

Little Kayleigh on my sidebar left to be with the Lord in the past two weeks. They could use our prayers for this heartbreaking time. She was so close to going home for the first time since her birth, the one pound miracle. Her memorial videos are beautiful if you have time to click on and watch. Three more babies have gone to be with the Lord just in this month and their families are really struggling in this new reality they are facing. I will never understand this side of heaven, why our little ones must go before us, but I trust God. I read something Heather wrote a while back on her blog that really summed it up for me. She said, "Sometimes, it is in the silence of the answers that Christ speaks the loudest. Maybe, just maybe there is no answer, it is just what it is, His Will." This settled in my heart and allowed me to stop trying to figure God out. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. And I am not.:)

One more favor before I close for the day, please keep Kristy and Miss Baby Bolte in your prayers as her birthday is any time now. Pray for the peace that passes all understanding for Kristy and for joy to fill her heart. This little girl is checking in perfect in all of her appointments as God is doing a new thing in their family. I am so excited for them. Thanks guys and I love you. Have a super blessed day today.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Monday, May 18, 2009

Monday Morning And May Is Half Over

It is Monday morning here in California and I am sure it is all over the news that we had an earthquake last night about 8:40 p.m. It was a good shaker at 4.7 and was centered about 40 miles north of us. It felt like someone lifted up the house and shook it from side to side for about 20 seconds. I really need to get a kit together so if the power goes out, I don't have to raid all of Isaac and Hannahs toys for batteries:)

I am hoping that the guys come this morning and grout the floor tiles and get things finished up this week. My patience is in a coma at this point and I want a warm shower so bad!! I can't wait to wipe down the cobwebs on the walls and put things back together.

In the meantime, I ordered two new sets of sheets yesterday and can't wait for them to arrive. My old ones are shot. They are the jersey T-Shirt material ones and I can't tell you how comfy they have been. I won't go back to the others anymore. They are soft and feel like you are sleeping in your most comfy favorite T-Shirt. I love them. Corky does too so it's all so good.

Isaac and Hannah will be here today and I am looking forward to playing. We went shopping yesterday and we are all stocked up on goodies for the kids. Shhh, don't tell mom and dad that I give them ice cream sandwiches and tons of fruit. It will be another outside day even though it is overcast here. As long as it is not raining, we play outside in the fresh air. I am loving having the windows open in the house all day and night. It will stay this way until November. We have so many birds in the trees singing all day long and things are blooming all over the place. The jasmine in the front and back yards keep blooming and they smell heavenly.

How did your weekend go for you? Ours was so relaxing and I got a lot of nap time in. Let me know how you are and if you need prayer okay? I love you guys.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Tuesday, May 12, 2009


It is hard to believe that you boys are 38 years old today. After posting about your birth last week, it seems like it was just yesterday that you were little and life was running at full speed. There has been so much joy over these past 38 years, watching you grow up into the young men you are today. There have been times of great heartache too, watching you learn the hard lessons of life, not being able to step in and rescue you from your own wrong choices. No amount of warnings and advice would keep you from learning your own lessons, your own way. But you did great through it all and it has made better men of you both. Your Dad and I are so proud to call you our sons and walk this life with you as you have your own families to nurture and love. To hear you say that we did it right with you, even though you sometimes didn't like it, makes us feel so special and honored. We didn't always do it right, but to not have it held against us is priceless. We love you guys more today than we ever thought possible, and we will always be mom and dad to you. We are so thankful that you both know the Lord and He is your savior. May you always rely on Him to direct your paths. He is faithful and keeps His promise to never leave or forsake us. We can count on Him.

I hope your day is full of joy and love and you know how special you both are to us and everyone who knows you. You are our treasures from God. And we just love that you only live 15 minutes away from home. Love and Blessings to you both today.

Love and Hugs, Mom and Dad

Friday, May 8, 2009

Friday Trip Down Memory Lane Part 4

Backing up a bit here, it was July of 1971 and the boys were two months old. I pretty much had this mom thing down to a science by now, and we decided to go to the beach with our friends. The boys first time and our friends chose which beach we would go to. "Thousand Steps in South Laguna. I had never been there but it was right across the street from the hospital where the boys were born so hey, this will be fun. We walked down a little public sidewalk between sweet Laguna Beach Cottages and there it was, the beach below, way down there...down a thousand steps perched on the side of the cliff, no hand rail, just steps. I froze inside, vertigo. After much coaxing and gripping the babies in a death grip, we made it to the sand. We set up our stuff and stuck the unbrella in the sand and the guys hit the water. I "volunteered" to stay behind with the babies:) It was hot and trying to nurse my babies and cover up so as not to offend anyone was becoming quite the challenge. Out of nowhere, a sweet woman came up and asked if I would be more comfortable in her cabana. CABANA? Like in comfortable shade CABANA? I looked behind me and about 20 feet away was her cabana up against the cliff, next to the "elevator" that went up and down from her house above!!
Ummm, okay, how sweet is this? She helped me with my things and led me to her "Oasis" in the sand. She set me up in a lounge chair and said to go ahead and feed my babies. No one would come close enough to see me or bother me. Wow, I'd died and gone to heaven for sure. But, someone DID see me and came over and checked out my boys and my new friend was surprised at this. I apologized and told her this lady was my natural birthing teacher, Dionne Wright. Dionne reached in her bag and got out a notebook and pen and wanted me to tell her all about my birthing experience for her records. I think she forgot that we only made it to three of the eight classes before the boys got here. So, I sat there nursing my boys and recounted the details to her as she madly wrote them down. She asked who taught me how to nurse the boys (she was a Lamaze Coach too) and I told her it was kind of a no brainer, the milk was there in abundance and the boys got hungry. My "new friend" (cabana owner) sat and smiled as she listened to me tell my story. Dionne was holding her breath as she wrote it all down, until it got to the "back labor" part being so painful that I asked for the NO-NO DRUGS. She gasped and said "you didn't" and I said "oh yes I did!" She closed her notebook right then and there and smiled politely and after ackwardly looking at my boys one last time, she strolled off down the beach! I felt like such a failure at that moment and tears started streaming down my face. My new friend uttered three words under her breath, "What A Bitch!" After what seemed like hours, she asked me to please continue with my story for her. She said the best was yet to come and so I told her the rest and when I was finished, she had tears in her eyes and kept saying "such a miracle". She saved my mind that day. I started to change diapers and she took over one baby and did it for me while I diapered the other. Looking back, I know she was an Angel Unaware for me that day. She rescued my heart like a good mother would and I couldn't thank her enough for her kindness. To this day I feel she had a story of her own that was left unspoken. Now that I am her age, I realize it could have been anything but she chose to minister to me. I never saw her again but will always remember her kindness at a time when I needed it most.

When the guys got back to the sand, Corky was looking around for me and the kids and I waved until he saw me at the cabana. He came over with a huge smile on his face and thanked my new friend for making his family comfortable. We said our goodbyes and gathered up our treasures and climbed the steps, all bazillion of them as I thought of that lady's elevator that glided up the cliff to the street level above.:)
I know, don't push my luck but I know she would have offered it in a heartbeat.

I never forgot how crushed I was at not being able to go natural all the way. When I told Corky about Dionne and her disappointment in me, he got tears in his eyes and told me that I had given him the two most wonderful gifts in the whole world and he was glad when I was able to get relief from the pain when they were born. Everything was such a competition back in those days, organic, natural childbirth, nursing, Mr. Rogers and Sesame Street.:) So much pressure on top of just being a mom and trying to please everyone first. It would be decades until I realized that you can't please anyone all of the time. And who wants to anyway?~sigh~ I think this is one of the big reasons I enjoy following younger moms pregnancies these days and pray for them to make it through. Mine was a piece of cake really, five hours of labor, two perfectly healthy boys, no frills, no NICU, I didn't know what a problem was really. I know different now, and my eyes have been opened to the heartache of others, and I am honored to be a prayer warrior for all who come my way. I have so much to be grateful for and have been blessed so much.

I will close for today and ask anyone of you who are still reading to remember to pray for Kayleigh on my sidebar and for her family in this uncertain time of their lives. Also be in prayer for Kristy as she waits to meet her baby girl, that God will choose the perfect time for her birthday, and Kristy to be at total peace. I will be back tomorrow. I love you guys!

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Thursday Trip Down Memory Lane Part 3

As I was enjoying the best 10 minute shower of my life, Corky opened the shower curtain and was holding a crying baby and said "Hurry". I shut the shower off, started drying off quickly and as I looked down to see why I was not getting dry, I saw squirting milk out of both sides. I quickly discovered how this worked, baby cried, milk came down, simple. We were on our own with the boys. Our place had no room for anyone to come and help. I liked it that way. My mom kept calling and wanting me to come stay with her for a week so I could rest. I couldn't say to her that I did not want to be anywhere near my dad with my new treasures. This was the first pure time in my life and I wanted to keep it that way.

We soon got it down to a science and during the night, I nursed a baby, handed him over to dad to burp and nursed the other baby. This took an hour and we did it every two and a half hours. During the day when Corky was at work, I nursed them both at the same time with the help of lots of pillows. That helped cut down on 45 minutes of feeding time, four times a day, giving me 3 extra hours to get things done when they were sleeping. We went to the laundromat once a week with 15 loads of laundry. And we used Pampers at the time. The ones with no elastic in the legs and waist, and one-shot only tape tabs. And no gel stuff that keeps swelling with wetness until they look like a pumpkin butt. We went through a box of 30 per day. My boys did not tolerate being wet. We spent more on diapers than gas for the truck. God made sure I had an abundance of milk on demand. He knew we couldn't afford formula AND diapers.:)

My girlfriend Joanne had her daughter two weeks after I had the boys. On occasions when we needed to leave our kids with eachother, feeding was no problem. We just nursed eachothers kids until mommy got back:) I always hurried because I knew Joanne didn't have the same milk supply as me. My girlfriend Susie had her baby boy three months after me and she had a car!!! We went everywhere together because I would wake the boys up and go anywhere with her just to get out of the apartment. No car seats, just a front seat full of babies.

On one of my daily afternoon walks with the boys in their stroller, I walked past a cute house a block and a half away from our apartment and saw a "For Rent" sign being put out front. I circled the block and came back to take a peek. The owners fell in love with the boys and showed me the house. Two bedrooms!!!!!!!!! Fenced back yard with a plum tree!!!!! Big kitchen with a Laundry Porch leading to the backyard!!!!! Did I mention two bedrooms?? The rent was $185.00 a month. We were paying $90.00 for our apartment. But this house had two bedrooms. And our boys were walking and running and confined to an apartment with no where to play outside except the sidewalk. I took Corky over to the house when he got home from work and he fell in love too. We tightened our belt and took the plunge. We got two dogs and I got a used washing machine for the laundry porch. I was in heaven not having to go to the laundromat and hung my clothes out on my clothesline Corky put up for me. I loved that house. I potty trained the boys in that back yard and my neighbor Jackie was a Christian. We lived there for almost 4 years until we moved into the house we are in now, right after the boys turned 5. We have been here ever since. Only 2 miles from the old house, and closer to the ocean. My girlfriend Susie lived here and they were buying their first house. I asked her if her landlord would rent the house to us and she made a call. Yes, send them $160.00 and we could move in. This was 1976 and we never met them until 4 years ago:) I had to really talk Corky into moving here. The three bedrooms, double car garage, huge backyard and fireplace sold him, not to mention $25.00 less per month in rent and being on the bluffs over the ocean. And here we are!! The boys started kindergarten here, graduated high school in 1989 here with the hugest party we ever had as they knew everyone in high school! Josh's rehearsal dinner in the back yard, and now his kids have his old room here and play in the same yard. Their 20 year reunion is next month and all of their friends will be in town for it. I look forward to them dropping in at the "Party House" here as this was their home away from home. Yes, we were the parents that took their keys at the door, let them "party" and spend the night wherever they found room to roll out their sleeping bags in the backyard or in the house. We knew where our kids were and even though that didn't make it right in some ways, they are all grown with their own kids now and I am grandma to MANY:) Things were different back then weren't they?

The guys are coming to work on the tile today so I am going to wrap it up and continue tomorrow. I never kept a journal of anything, so this is really stirring up memories for me to journal it now. I am hoping to post about my mother since mothers day is coming, but it will be hard for me in so many ways. She has been gone for 9 years now and so much of our "relationship" is blank to me. It just is.

Have a great day everyone if you are still with me and still reading. I feel like I am catching up on a lifetime of memories that I need to write down for myself in case my memory starts slipping out on me:)

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Tuesday's Trip Down Memory Lane Part 2

One week before the boys "arrived" we decided to take a drive up the coast to get me out of the "studio apartment". Kind of a test run to see how long it would take us to get to the hospital in South Laguna. Twenty minutes, not bad at all. On the way home, we stopped to get some black licorice for me and a coke for Corky. I was chomping on licorice as he was trying to start the truck. It would NOT start!! "We'll have to jump start it." He'll push, I'll pop the clutch. We've done it many times before, times when I could get behind the wheel! To drive this old truck, left foot goes on the clutch, right foot goes half on the starter pedal on the floor and the other half of foot on the gas. I had to sit sideways to get behind the wheel and still reach all the pedals. He pushed the truck, I popped pedals, NOTHING. It was 10:00 at night and thank God the parking lot was empty. We did this maneuver three more times before he yelled out in his last dying breath "Are you sure you have the key on?" Uhhh I think as I look down and turn the key on, "Of course I have the key on, I am pregnant, not stupid!" He pushed and BINGO, it started! He got back in the truck dripping wet, poor guy and we headed home. It was years before I admitted this to him.

Fast forward to a week later and we are wide awake playing dominos at 11:30 on a Tuesday night and I walk through the kitchen on my way back from the bathroom and I feel a hot gush of water and see a puddle on the floor. Corky in his sweet state of all things denial says perhaps I had an accident.:) I tell him I think my water broke. "What now?" he asks. Call the doctors office and we get the exchange and tell her that my water broke and what should we do next. "Wait until the contractions get to be about 5 to 6 minutes apart and head for the hospital. And Dr. White is on vacation so Dr. Stoney will meet us there." WHAT??? I waited until I was 5 1/2 months along to get Dr. White to deliver me. I was so bummed. We kept playing dominos, waiting for the contractions that never came, just a backache that was getting more intense by the moment. At 2:30 am on Wednesday morning, we called the exchange and said we were headed to the hospital. We loaded up the "wicker laundry basket", the baby afghans my grandma crocheted, one blue-one pink, wishful thinking on her part and headed out. Dr. Stoney met us after I was all settled in and said he was so excited to be delivering his first set of twins. Hooray for you bud, I wanted Dr. White to be there. I was dialating nicely and I was sticking to my natural childbirth mantra of NO DRUGS!! I had back labor so every contraction felt like my back was going to snap. Around 5:00 am I was starting to think about drugs alot, I mean really wanting them!!:) Corky kept saying "no drugs babe, you are strong, you can do it." He was only doing what I made him swear he would do. By 7:00, in a deep growling voice from somewhere deep within me, I politely DEMANDED something to ease the pain. No epidurals back then, just a spinal block. And who do you think walked in the door right after this happened?? DR. WHITE!!! Yep, he called the exchange to see what was happening and found out I was in labor and came to my rescue:) :) Dr. Stoney was so bummed! I was so numbed from the waist down, and we went to the delivery room. One of the babies would be breach, we didn't know which one. Just push and wait for a head or a foot. It seemed normal to me at the time. I pushed for about 20 minutes and at 7:28am Josh's head popped out and we had our first boy. It was the first time I saw Corky cry. So sweet. Josh weighed in at 7lbs. 3ozs and was 20 inches long. Dr. White asked if I wanted to push and try to get the second one who was breach to turn around. "I have a choice?" Yes, I can push or he can go in and get him. "Go get him!" He reached in, turned him around and delivered Eric head first. He weighed in at 6 lbs. and was 19 inches. I love this doctor. Nowadays, they would have thought he was barbaric in his approach but I am so glad he was my doctor. Two healthy big boys and Corky was crying and amazed. No NICU, no nothing. No cell phone to get the word out either:) My breastmilk came in the next day and the boys picked up on it right away. Friday morning we were wheeled out to the truck and we placed our wrapped babies in the wicker laundry basket (yep, no car seats required:) and headed home to our studio apartment. We pulled up to the curb, took our "treasures in a basket" in the house and shut the door. There was only room for one crib that fit in the corner 2 feet beside our bed. We put both babies in the crib, sat down and waited for our next move, whatever that was going to be.:) Ignorance was such bliss back then I have to tell you. I jumped in the shower that felt like heaven on earth. And I will stop here for today and do part 3 tomorrow.

One gift a girlfriend gave me would become the most valuable gift ever. It was 4 sturdy springs that screwed into the legs of the crib, like shock absorbers on a car. Whenever the babies would move, the crib would rock in a soft back and forth, side to side motion, putting them back to sleep. I had a string tied to the bars and during the night would gently tug on it to get a few more minutes of rest before the feeding began.:)

Have a beautiful day today and count each and every one of your blessings. I have so many more as I look back and realize how blessed my pregnancy was, really.:)

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Monday, May 4, 2009

First Monday In May And A Trip Down Memory Lane

It was 37 years, 353 days ago that I was in the race to celebrate my very first Mothers Day for me. I was in my 37th week of pregnancy with my twin sons. Only five days to go till Mothers Day and these boys made me wait until the Wednesday after to make me a mom. So, even though they will be 38 on May 12th, this Sunday will be my 37th official Mothers Day.~sigh~ Since I enjoy following so many girls pregnancies, I thought I'd do a post about my own:) I can't believe that this is going to sound like one of those "When I was a kid, I tromped 5 miles through the snow in a blizzard to get to school" posts. In many ways, it will sound exactly like that.

My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage in my third month. No one really talked about it back then so I pretty much grieved in silence. Five months later I was pregnant again and waited until I was 5 1/2 months along to see my doctor, Dr. William White in South Laguna. He was the only doctor at the time in our area here at the coast who started allowing husbands to be a part of the birth IF we took a Natural Childbirth Class. When I got to his office, he asked why I waited so long to start prenatal care. I told him it was the first available appointment I could get with him. So, we did a pregnancy test (Yep) and he was cracking up but it was for the record. I was huge by this time and he put me on a 1000 calorie a day diet to slow my weight down. No ultrasounds back then and only heartbeat checked and everything sounded great. One strong heartbeat. I about starved to death trying to stick to only 1000 calories per day and kept gaining weight. I used to walk a mile to the store one way and back each day. (See, the snow part:) Truth is that we had only one 1948 pick up truck and Corky needed it to work! So, I walked. At 7 1/2 months along, I didn't count weeks back then, I was in the checkout line and the "BABY" decided to do a shift maneuver and dove around to my side, leaving my frontside almost flat. The checker stared in total shock and watched me move the huge lump back to the front. I knew then that there was something going on inside that only one baby could be doing. Too many lumps and bumps.
I called the doctor and told him I was starving and I felt I may be having twins. He asked if there was a history of them in the family. Ummm, yeah, 5 sets of them that I knew of, and my grandmother on my dad's side was a twin. He sent me to the lab for an xray, yep, no ultrasounds and screens back then. The tech was a woman who lived across the street from me and with lots of the lead blankets on my stomach, took the xray. She couldn't tell me the results, the doctor had to "Read" the xray first. But she said it was up on the board in the room on the way to the bathroom in case I needed to pee. I peeked in and saw the most beautiful sight. Two babies like a mirror image, head to head and feet to feet. Elsie, my neighbor and tech made me promise not to say anything to the doctor and let him call me with the news. I loved Elsie, she had two darling little boys who would come over to my house and visit me every day. Dr. White called about two hours later and was apologizing up a storm and told me to throw out that nasty diet and start eating my brains out. No Problem!! At my appointment the next day he had to really search and as I manipulated the lumps in my belly, he found the second heartbeat. He told me to stay off my feet and rest. They could come anytime. Okay, I did this for two weeks and about went out of my mind. Corky brought me bouquets of black licorice home every night. That's what I craved and what stopped my tears. I continued to walk every day even though I looked like a beached whale. I thought I would forget how to drive as I couldn't fit behind any steering wheel even with the seat pushed back all the way.

We hurried up and got in the childbirth class before it was too late. We got three out of eight behind us before the boys came. The instructor was so excited because ours was the first set of twins for her. She also taught Lamaze. She was the ultimate barefoot hippie earth mother and it was 1971. Corky was 21 and I was 22 and we were leaving the hippie life behind for the real world. She taught us that no matter how much pain we would be experiencing, just say NO TO DRUGS. She took such an interest in me having two babies and how I was going to manage it all and put a feather in her career cap! She nursed her three year old son as she taught the class, seriously. He would walk up, lift her shirt and start drinking away:) I knew I was going to breastfeed but I figured I'd probably stop before they could ask for "Boobie".:)

I am going to stop for today because Hannah is here now and this is getting long. I am doing it mainly for myself to remember and you are welcome to take the journey back in time with me. I will post part 2 tomorrow. It starts to get interesting if I remember correctly:) Have a great Monday and I hope your weather is as beautiful as ours is!

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Saturday, May 2, 2009

The First Saturday In May

April is gone and I won't even ask where it went. May is a busy month around here starting with Mothers Day on the 10th, Josh and Eric's birthday on the 12th, Isaac's 4th birthday on the 26th, my great nephews 5th birthday same day as Isaacs, my great nieces 2nd birthday (have to check the date). So, it's a busy month and I need to stay "awake" and not daydream so much. I've been doing a lot of that lately instead of doing the things on my "to do list" that need to get done. I love having all the doors and windows open in the house and listen to the birds outside in the trees. I can always tell when it is feeding time because I can really hear the babies chime in.
I love the hummingbirds that come right up and shower in the sprinkler while I water the plants by hand. They are so sweet! Poor Amos the cat has been getting harrassed by a huge bluejay that has a nest in the tree above the patio. Her babies are practicing jumping out of their nest and learning to take little flights. She dive bombs on him and though I feel sorry for him, I understand the mother instinct she has for her babies. I get lost sitting out there and listening to the sound of the water fountains and windchimes tinkling. I just get lost:) This is how I daydream and talk to God at the same time. I am praying for Kayleigh and her parents as they face such darkness in their lives. If you have a chance, click on her button and read the last few posts. She is alive but brain dead after surgery. Her parents face such hardship in decisions for her and for their finances. Stellan is back home with his family and living day by day with his condition that only God knows. I have found two new Trisomy 18 babies to pray for who are due later this year. Three babies who have Anacephaly (sp?) who will be born soon, Noah and April Rose, and one baby who is ten weeks old with this condition and doing well so far. I don't know why I get pulled into these families, but my heart hurts for them so much.

And, I am so excited for Kristy as her little girl will be born this month!! It has been a long road for her and Howard, losing Isaac and Asher, and waiting for this baby girl who appears to be perfect in every way. God promised them that He was doing a NEW thing in their lives, and this little girl is it. Praying for hope and joy to replace any doubts and fears as they wait to meet her face to face and look into her eyes. Your prayers for her would be so great. I can't wait to meet baby #5.

So, this is what I have been doing this past week and I think I better get busy and get my day going. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and do a little daydreaming along the way.

Love and Hugs, Laurie