This should probably be more of a Valentines Day post, but it is happening now, so I will write about it now. Falling in love is easy, staying in love is a lifetime process. What lies in between will either make or break a marriage.
I truly have the most wonderful, the best and most kind-hearted husband in the world. Is he perfect? No. Neither am I. Does he make mistakes? Sure. So do I. Are we who we were when we got married 40 years ago, hmmm NO. We are better than I could ever imagine. Neither one of us has ever attended college, yet we have a Masters Degree in the School of Life. We are both 60 now and have only 17 years that we did not spend together growing up. Our love runs deep. I dislike that the term "Soul Mate" has been run into the ground and diluted. WE ARE SOUL MATES in the Lord.
My Honey Bear works harder than anyone I know. His work ethics are impeccable and he has always been this way. Right now, he has been working 6 to 7 days a week, 12 hour days to bring several jobs in by their deadlines. The company he works for is owned and run by Christians. He has earned a place of respect and high esteem and does not take it for granted. We are so blessed for this job that is going forward when the economy is going backwards. And we have more than we need. I thank God every single day for His provision.
When he got home last night he plopped himself in the chair next to mine in the office here and we just started chatting. He told me how his day went and asked me about mine. He said he had three things on his mind and they were important to his heart. He wants to take out a life insurance policy so that I am taken care of in the event of something happening to him. He wants to make a Living Will so that things are in order. He wants us to take better care of our health because he wants to "grow old together". I knew where he was coming from but could not resist telling him that this is what we have been doing for the past 43 years. He gave me "the smile" that brings the twinkle to his eyes and melts my heart. We laughed when we thought about it and asked each other where the time has gone and how did we get here. We talked about the "what lies between" falling in love and staying in love. It amazed us how we could openly talk about the "in between" times that used to cause such searing pain, and now just brings a smile to our hearts. An honest to God and forgiving smile to our hearts. Our Soul Mate smile that is born over and over again out of forgiveness and hanging in no matter what. We have learned from our mistakes and will keep learning from them as they come and go, and we know this in our hearts. We ARE growing older together and it is such a comfortable place to be.
Anyone who has read my post of 12/30/07 knows a little part of our pasts and some of the odds stacked against us. It does not work out for everyone but I am so thankful to say it has for us. If anyone asks me what it takes to keep a marriage going for 40 years and still be in love, I say that acceptance and forgiveness with the Lord in the middle is what I have learned and am still learning. There is no magic bullet and I am thankful. I wasn't thankful in going through the trials but in hind sight, I am more than thankful for the lessons learned in the 17 years before and the 43 years after. I will do my best to be thankful for the ones that are still ahead. God has always and will always be faithful to bring us through. Our marriage gets better each time we remember to not try and change eachother but to help eachother through our changes. This has been a long process but so rewarding in getting us to today. I know that someday when we get old, we will still be together:)
We have a few "road trips" we are hoping to take when these jobs are completed. We are looking forward to them and getting away for a bit. We both agree that after three or four days, we start missing the grandkids too much. So, long weekends are the plan.
So tell me, how long have/had you been married and what is/was your secret? Share it here because I really think we can learn from eachother. My sweet friends who have lost their husbands are encouraged to share too. We never know what tomorrow brings, only what we know today. We all need the wisdom shared by our "sisters".
Love and Hugs, Laurie